Dear Diary,
Do i take thee???
I’d have to think about it.
For how long? It depends on my clarity..3mths? or 3yrs maybe? I couldn’t tell ya..
What does my thinking involve? Observing prayerfully. Observing mindfully. Observing objectively.
So I may not be the expert on this subject but I know choosing a life partner is the most crucial decision one would ever make in their lifetime, as a spouse can single handedly drive your aspirations or inhibit them.
Every where around me for some odd reason, holds a dialogue about marriage..every one is chanting it…BBM status…text messages..facebook…phone calls..twitter…face-to-face..either someone is tieing the knot or somebody Is getting served.
I cant run away from it..its in the air..its in my face!
Personally, I think Marriage is one of the greatest institutions ever created but one that’s not fully Explored. I often compare Marriage to my Phone contract..there’s a lot of fine prints and it does take time and effort to go over every one of the terms and conditions and really who has time to analyse a contract when my brand new phone is nicely packaged in the box waiting to be launched right?
Now, Imagine you have a Black Berry Curve which you absolutely love and have gotten so used to and then you notice your track ball falls off and after a few mishaps, you decide to trade in your scratched- up, beat- down, worn -out phone for a brand new, “Tear Rubber”, Black Berry Bold. That’s all well and dandy..BEFORE THE CONTRACT.
After uttering those two powerful syllabic words, “I DO” (signing a contract) you cant exactly “upgrade” your device, you have to stick with whatever model you get and at best, download various applications which did not come with your original package. *Ambition Application* *Faithfulness Application* *Financial Prudence Application* *Domestic Application*
The truth is that you may desire an application and find out that its NOT compatible with your Device.
Breaking the contract is ugly and should be avoided at all costs…so after much consideration what i really think we should do is change our vows to reflect our harried lives and the realities of a 21st century precarious type of union.
I really think if we enlarged the fine prints and people knew what they were getting into, they will be sure to think and double check before taking 'the big leap'.
Imagine the standard vow sounded something like this:
And to add to that, mine would probably sound like this:
"Do you promise to take me shopping whenever I deem fit , leave love notes on the fridge every day before work ,open all doors for me including the car door and keep me company in the kitchen while I make dinner?"
LESSONS LEARNED
Before saying “I DO” and inking any signatures, take time to study the contract properly, make sure you read and agree to the Terms and Condition of this contract
WARNINGS
This Contract Is your lottery ticket if you pair up with a device that runs a Millionaire application and even in cases of explosion, another application called spousal support automatically installs itself.
This union has the tendency to make you grin and smile to yourself occasionally at odd times
Side effects of this contract may include some UNreasonable level of happyNESS or UNreasonable levels of Misery...FOREVER!
The basic element of this contract is VALUE..its either been added or deducted
This contract has a WHOLEsome effect and leaves you feeling like there’s nothing else to do; when done right you are COMPLETE and when gone wrong, you are FINISHED!
So before you say "I DO", please do some soul searching and know exactly what you're saying "I DO" to.
Food For Thought: A Good man is better than a good Job. Agree/Disagree
Yours Forever
Ehi Bourgeoisie
5 comments:
Do we want a marriage contract or marriage covenant? contract is about what you expect from another party, while covenant is about making a "quality decision" to another regardless of what happens. the Choice is yours
I feel a Covenant is a spiritual contract..in other words, a marriage union is a contract of some sort in the sense that its a union of two pple whose values align and taking an oath of fidelity.
I still have expectations that have to be met in other for this convenant/contract to run smoothly. The only difference i see here is marriage is a sacred contract and even when both parties are not in fulfilment of the terms, some of us are willing to work through it
I feel a Covenant is a spiritual contract..in other words, a marriage union is a contract of some sort in the sense that its a union of two pple whose values align and taking an oath of fidelity.
I still have expectations that have to be met in other for this convenant/contract to run smoothly. The only difference i see here is marriage is a sacred contract and even when both parties are not in fulfilment of the terms, some of us are willing to work through it
Nicely said Bourgy! Yes it is important to read the fine print. I agree that a lot of people skim through all that...
That said though, the act of being in love, in true, passionate, deep love (the type they talk about in the movies) means that you skim over the nitty gritty details and concentrate on how the man makes you FEEL as opposed to what he is bringing to the table.
I love the quote on the end: "A GOOD MAN IS DEFINITELY BETTER THAN A GOOD JOB". A job doesn't keep you warm at night, that's for sure! LOL
A good man IS better than a good job because he'll always inspire you to reach for the stars and will always encourage you and hold your hand when things seem like they are slipping away. A good job can NEVER do that and neither can a great career.
In the 21st century, with the women's movement taking more of a forefront, it is always a toss up between a man/family and our careers...sigh! Someday, it'll all fall into place (maybe for our kids) and women will not have to give up their family responsibilities for their jobs. But then again, maybe that's a fantasy and it'll always be a man's world. Who knows?! Only time will tell :)
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