Sunday, August 29, 2010

Blue Blood

Dear diary,

Today, I had a phone conversation with a person which led him to talk about a certain princess from Africa.

Initially, when he said it, I chuckled within as I have not heard the term “Princess” used in a serious manner in a long time. Before now, my friends and I would use the expression 'Are you a princess' when someone acted like a diva or wanted everything done for them and today the reason I chuckled was because my mind immediately connected with that joke.

In my quiet time as I meditated and searched my thoughts, it got me thinking even more seriously that whoever that princess is must have gotten herself accustomed to that term/ title..Its probably not an ‘LOL‘moment when somebody addresses her as princess as it was for me this afternoon.

I am not blind to the fact that this regal title may or may not make her feel any different from the rest of us regulars as I know there are wretched and miserable royals. So I want to focus on the type of royalty that makes one talk, act and attract magnificence and brilliance to their lives.

Even a common person can tell you that a crown does not make a Princess, afterall how does a tiara made of metallic materials make one a princess..its the doors that are open and the result of the status of that title that bring the royaalty..hence my scribble today..

There's a princess in every one of us..Talk like one..Act like one..dress like one..associate with fellow royalty and royal things will happen to you.

soverignty is inherent in each of us and you and i were born royals but sometimes we forget to walk in it hence mediocrity happens to us

Forget the title, Royalty is a state of mind..if you feel like blue blood then you will be treated as such

An excuse to show you my hair..'m making progress! lol

So lets wear our imaginative tiara's and get your bourgy act are royalty!

Yours in Magnificence
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Benefit Of Doubt

Dear Diary,

I am now sitting here at this Mental Health workshop and i wanted to share a few thoughts quickly.
I have been told to love all and trust none however as I grew up into my own person, I attended a few seminars and self help workshops which focused on conscious living and being aware of your feelings, so I learned differently. They we both very conflicting messages but I made a choice-One that would define my relationship with human beings-I was told that if you opened up to a person, they might hurt you but I was also taught that to live consciously which means you had to trust people even if you don’t know them. While it might expose your vulnerabilities to do so, it is an effective lifestyle to purge yourself of assumptions and past hurts and wounds.

So in my exercise in ‘conscious living’, you are asked to walk to a complete stranger, make absolutely no body contact and look between their lids eyeball to eyeball ball and say to them genuinely and sincerely ‘I TRUST YOU’ and if you're able to do that without doubts in your mind, you will have begun a liberating process as your guards are down, your walls are broken and all holds are barred.

A big chunk of living consciously teaches you to ‘Trust foolishly’. When I first did this exercise, my biggest challenge was overcoming of “I don’t-know-them-why-should-i-trust-them”? but then I overcame that challenge by thinking of it from the dimension of “i-don’t-know-them-why-shouldn’t-i-trust-them”? right? They haven’t hurt why not eh?

So I sit here in my mental health training and this lady is staring me down head to toe almost as if I have two heads..she occasionally turns away to listen to the material being presented and focuses back on me. At this point I’m actually getting furious and uncomfortable like..why is she gazing so intently..then my fury turns into paranoia..maybe there's food crumb on my mouth..NO THERE WASNT!

Ok..10mins break and i rush off to the had to be my hair standing or something..well, opening the bathroom door guess who's trailing closely behind me? yesss..The staring lady!

Then the most amazing thing happens...she walks right to me and says "You have the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen and you are one geogeous lady!" *Gasp* *3seconds later* Wow! Thank you so much was my reply.

**Extremely Flustered**

Long story short, we got talking...she was the nicest lady and i pinched myself for harbouring those thoughts..


You know already..give people the benefit of doubt..not every gazer is a hater!

Everyone deserves a chance to be trusted..dont let past hurt and pain cause you to recline

Yours In-Trust
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fake it till you Make it

Dear Diary,

Its great to feel in high esteem…I remember what I coined Ehi’s Mantra for a while...”Fake it till you make it”..i actually bring that phrase to mind frequently when I am opportuned to be in the ”Right Company”

For me, I’m in the “Right Company” when I’m in an extremely posh and upscale place in the midst of people whom I aspire to be. For a long time, the right company was extremely uncomfortable as I could not speak in abbreviated language or slangs as I usually do, most people here are well dressed and carry themselves with poise and decorum…if you’re having dinner, table manners are in unconscious enforcement, and the idea of prim and proper is in full effect. Do not be mistaken, I am apt and proper all the time when I need to be but when i go out to play tennis or have drinks, I am in the most relaxed mood and I want to be hassle free.

So writing this, I remember when I would go out with my dad to some high end functions with ‘knowledgeable’ people who were much older than me and would somehow find myself in some guarded area or what we’ve now come to know as VIP area, I remember feeling intimidated and panicky.

That was when I was a child and knew nothing. Recently I had the chance of being in the “right Company” and that childhood feeling of anxiety was about coming back and you know how the mind works, i thought the most discouraging things...(you weren’t even invited..Somebody is gonna come send you away..) and I just paused…thought for a second and said I belong here and I just blended right in and it felt good.

I think of my friend who told me a story of how he found himself in some big music awards show. Although he didn’t have an invite, he wanted to be there and so he composed himself and walked through the gates chatting up with celebrities like Paris Hilton exuding poise and self assurance and he really just blended in so much that it would have been jeopardizing to security to ask if he had a pass!

Lessons Learned
Every time you find yourself in a place that seems like “Right Company” and you’re tempted to feel uncomfortable…Ask yourself this question...Why can’t I belong here? Who says I can’t be crème de la crème? Act like a Bourgeois till you feel like one.
So if you don’t feel like you belong to OUR league of the High and Mighty, I say Fake it till you Make it!

Loyally Speaking
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Last Word

Dear Diary,
I can NEVER win an argument! I can NEVER win an argument!! I can NEVER win an argument!!!

*say this 3times when you wake up every day Ehi*

So I got in an unnecessary battle with words today with a partner/friend..i cant tell you how terrible I felt after wards..why do we always try to have the last word? No one is giving me a dime to have the last say but when I’m in a fury, I can do whatever it takes to say the last “whatever” or kiss the last teeth

So I wake up this morning to find out I have a major conflict on my schedule between two commitments, one was a personal appointment but of HIGH importance and the other? A speaking engagement, which I had given my word to about a month ago.
I pick up my phone and make a quick phone call to my partner and say hey listen, I cant make this personal engagement only because I’m already committed to something else and I have been for the last month or so..Anywayz, to cut the long story short, this personal important meeting of mine only came up 3days ago and I felt that since I had given my word out for the speaking engagement, I MUST commit to it and deliver but my partner was of the opinion that this personal project was hella important and anything else coming in the way could take a back seat. We seemed to differ in our reasoning and I’d be damned to shut up and listen to this foolishness hence I figured it was a better idea to rant and ramble and argue and talk back and exercise my right of speech so I did just that!

Boy, did it feel good to have the last word and teach somebody a lesson of a lifetime but this “glorious” feeling didn’t last too long as literally 3seconds after I hung up, it dawned on me Not a damn thing was resolved, not a solution found..infact if ever a time I felt drained, it was now!

So sitting here in this office ready to pack off for the weekend, I can tell you, I NEVER everrrr never eveeerrrr want to have the last word AGAIN!! Its up for grabs..Take it if you so desire

Winning only happens when we all win…its not about blames, its about understanding and finding solutions. I only wanted to be heard so I turned to yelling and raising the roof top


You can never come to an amicable conclusion or find a solution with an augument..give up the thrill of having the last word
So I know this is no cookie cutter or fly-by-night dose but I’ll keeping taking it daily and learning

Yours Sincerely
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Friday, August 6, 2010

Realistically Speaking

Dear Diary,

I get it! I finally get it!!

I think I do…I hope I do..its pretty clear to me now so I’m sure I do.
So how many times have I made up a list about my ideal man..i do it evry so often..and I renew this list at least once in 3mths..yup..yup..that’s how much of a “hopeless Romantic” I am..

This list gets revised with just about evry other Romance Comedy I watch and the more I build these castles, the more I realize imma have to MAKE my own MAN cuz he don’t exist!

Not surprisingly, I never deemed any MAN fit to date him hence I was hardly in any relationship..aNYwayz, as time went on , It became clear to me that there was no such thing as Mr/Ms other words, there’s no PERFECT partner although there could be one just PERFECT for you.

In my critical study of relationships and whilst trying to observe my ideal relationships, I’m learning to NOT believe everything I see hook line and sinker…Sure, they look “CUTE” together but what they aren’t telling you is how hard they have to work to stay “CUTE” doubt they have hearts that beat as one and their attraction for each other is inseparable but you’re not there when they have to make sacrifices or forfeit personal luxuries to get that relationship to the perfect level.

So, making lists of qualities your ideal partner should possess is great however, I’m gradually learning that the only other thing worse than settling for less, is building castles in the air. I’m learning that what some of us do is wish for people we could not be..

In the study of human behavior, we are thought that if we want to be loved, we should love..if you need a friend, be a the same light can I just say that if we are going to make a list of attributes, please be worthy and first BE that list.

I was wasting my time focused on finding Mr. HIM and I completely forgot about making ME Ms. Perfect for Mr. Perfect. !

I learned that it was easier to work on personal growth and development to embellish the quality of people I was attracting than try to look for Mr. Perfect
Correct me if I’m wrong but how many times do you glance through that list and scoff cuz you know you aint even half the attributes or achievements you’re asking for..Too many times!

This is the theory I live by, establish yourself to the level of desirable attributes on your “list” and dont worry, whatever level you find yourself, there will be somebody for you.

So what do you think? Think i get it?

Please share your thoughts...

Realistically Speaking
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Overused S-Word

Dear Diary,

I almost got caught stressing…this week started off nicely as it was ushered in from a sparkling weekend…I played so much over the weekend, spent time with great people, ate good food, enjoyed good music..lets just say I was in a good place.
The new work week rolled in and I managed to keep the momentum and maintained my groove with harmony and perfect contentment with myself and my life until a few moments ago

Some things are not working quite as smoothly as I would have loved them to go, a few disappointments, over load from work, and before I realized, it was a chain of negative events brought about by my own thoughts and suddenly “I am stressed”
Now, the bad thing about this is that my mental dispensation is changed from blissful to gloomy but the great thing about this is, I am aware of the switch and I’m in search of opportunities to switch gears. While I’m still sulking about this and that, and waiting on my bus to arrive, I catch sight of a gentleman who’s also in the bus stop speaking on the phone in the heaviest Nigerian Igbo accent.

This gentleman totally made my day..Now, I’m chuckling and giggling at the odd conversation he’s having with someone probably in Nigeria and in a few minutes, I’m restored back to my old happy self.

Aside from his convo and igbo accent, something else about him straightened my frown and it was the envelope he held in his hands…it was an envelope I recognize as been from Citizenship and Immigration Canada. Oooh that explains the ferocious argument he’s having with whomever he’s talking to…oh boy, dude is probably facing a serious immigration challenge and here I was getting irritated over smack!

I think that just did it for me!

Sometimes, we are stressed because “coffee spilled on my white shirt “or “my car broke down and I hate the bus” or the most recent I heard “I asked for double-double and the server at Tim Hortons gave me double -triple” or “I got a parking ticket” so we say I AM STRESSED!

I learned something today,dont be too quick to declare the 'S'word.. save the “STRESS” word for when you really need it and I hope you really wouldn’t need it.
Its very much similar to sick days eh…some days you have a head ache or a stomach ache but you manage to go in to work because you know that you may really need that sick day for a more serious issue. Just typing this remind me of what a friend said, "I used up all my sick days so I called in DEAD!"

When you constantly refer to yourself as STRESSED, you will always get a good reason to stay in that state so you can rightly justify the word and its use.

Yours in harmony,
Ehi Bourgeoisie