Saturday, December 25, 2010

deuces 2010!

Dear Diary,

It’s been a great 2010 and I’m happy about my accomplishments and achievements thus far…you know I never make new year resolutions and the simple reason for that is that I never follow through and I don’t like to live with the fact that I set a goal and not attain it plus everyday is a learning experience , I set new goals on a daily basis.

Anyways, I set some new levels for myself in the year 2010 and recently just doing a run through of the year, the closest word to how I feel is “GRATEFUL” and that doesn’t even fully describe how I feel. I am thankful and even as this year ends in a BANG I look forward with much excitement to what 2011 holds for me.

Today’s post I’d like to recall some practices that worked well in 2010 and which I will def continue to imbibe in 2011.

Trusting and relying heavily on God-He’s written the script to our lives and without his permission, the plot cannot be changed. Nuff said!

Journal-ling-The perks of writing goes beyond an outlet to vent off and rant..for me the art of writing multitasks as a means to analyze and appraise myself as well as an avenue to deal with situations that may be too hard to face head on and of course as a mode of self expression

Self Confession-I have a routine of confessions that I self profess a couple of times as I go through my day and I cant tell you how much I’ve accomplished as a result. There has been a mental shift and in my mind’s eye, I have been places, I have acquired properties and I’m just waiting on my reality to catch up with my mind.

Visualizing –In 2010, I updated my vision board twice and its been amazing!

Okay that’s all I’ll share for now.

Bourgy Babe

Merry Christmas

Dear Diary,
Its been a while…but a really good while.
Shall I summarize what’s been going on with me or shall I just put it off and take it one step at a time?

Lets see some top highlights of my week…

So the week started off very adventurous…demands from work, personal demands, relationship/friendship demands, christmas demands...just overwhelming it was that I wanted Jan 1st 2011 to just come already.

Tuesday, I had to move apartments and I only made up my mind hours before then…talk about Stressful

On Thursday, after a very looong day at work and a long week I make a quick stop at the mall to shop for a specific trench coat for him. Store after store, coat after coat, no luck..none seemed to be the right one. 2hours later, I’m now tired, famished and disappointed and decide to check one last store before taking a hike and lo and behold some two hefty, Pidgin- english- speaking-guyz walked right by me and hollered “Hey Sexy” and I just walked right by them into Zara without returning glances or even responding to their bellow and this excuse of a human being actually said to his buddy “see dis one no even get yansh and she still dey make shakara”
Without even thinking twice or editing my thoughts I just fired back at him “you dey craze; you dey kolo; somtin dey wori you; your fada! idiot!!!” in the most uncouth manner

*breathe ehi* *breathe*
The look on his face was priceless! He was not just astounded, his face was covered in shame and humiliation.

LOL..LOL..i just burst out laughing…oooh lord, I need to chill but I needed to give it to that man raw and unedited straight from my heart..if I no get yansh, why r you bugging me? *hiss*

So that was me on Thursday…lashing out at everyone that crossed my path.
So rewinding back to Tuesday, I got some movers and they must have bagged a degree in incompetency because they did a great job at been inept. These movers show up 3hours after scheduled time, cant move a box spring and in the course of moving, one of them actually charged at me and swore at me because I told him he could not abandon my bed by the elevator! After much complaining and pretending to call 911, WE (I did most of the lifting) finanlly moved by 9:30pm!

So, its been a tiring week and today at a family Christmas gathering, overfed and with an aching body, I sneak off to do some writing and I feel relieved and grateful for the season.

Have yourself a lovely Merry Christmas.

-Bourgy Babe

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

A Wild Goose Chase

Dear Diary,

I had an amazing weekend!

I went out to a few outings and engagements, spent some time with people I absolutely love and treasure and now its 9:00pm and all I can think of is how I’m advancing into my new week and in thoughtful evaluation of my previous week, I relish the wonderful moments that made me smile and one of them is what I’d like to call a "Canada Goose moment".

My Canada Goose moment was brought about when my friend spent over 3-4 hours hopping from store to store looking to purchase a very expensive brand of winter jacket called Canada Goose.
Taking her 30mins lunch break, she skips into a store looking to purchase a winter jacket..after much carrying and lifting weighty coats, she finally settles on this warm and cozy, one could conveniently take a love walk on a frosty wintry day and count some stars without shivering.

Anywayz, turns out Canada Goose has the potential to keep you feeling warm regardless of any cold since every Tom Dick and Harry has one. So she tries on a pair,…perfect fit! You’d think it was specifically tailored just for her however, on sighting the price tag, the numbers she saw was definetely capable of giving one a cold. She immediately puts a call in order, Ehi, does it makes logical sense to buy a winter jacket for $772?

And my response: Ahn ahn,,how?? Does the jacket have a working heater in it?? ANyways, to cut the long story short, she does not indulge but as soon as she steps back into her office, she realizes what a mistake she’s made to have not bought that jacket.After 2nd and 3rd thoughts, she considers it an investment and decides to pick one up.

On getting back to the same store, oops, its GONE!..NO WAAY!! It must be hiding somewhere..*shuffles racks* in and out, NOPE, ITS CHANGED OWNERSHIP!! This jacket that was supposed to take the heat for all the cold of this winter and the cold of many generations is absolutely BOUGHT! This jacket that she had fantasized about and dreamed of through rose colored glasses has been hijacked by a more decisive and strong willed buyer..who’s probably enjoying it right now.

Now, you know Canada Goose just racked up some cool points now eh, in suspense and feeling like she’d lost out on a great deal, she goes searching, store after store, site after site, same thing every where…out of order..out of stock..none left over anywhere!

Well, she almost passed out from the hype..she needed so badly to put her finger and of course her wallet on one of those hot stuff..Almost like a crack addict experiencing withdrawal she was desperate to pay anything for this brand.

At the end of the night, and after so much laffs and talks, she didn’t get it but she was pacified and sober. As I analyse this situation with my friend, I learn something very vital.

1) “If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it“, doesn’t just go for a spouse, it applies to most or all things like your Phone, Canada Goose and anything you attach prime value to. Don’t wait to find out if its any good to anyone else, before deciding you want it.

2) Time and chance happens to all-There’s a set time for everything underneath the earth..a second later could be a second too late. When an opportunity comes knocking, the universe is in alignment at that very second to bring it to pass hence its brought to your radar..don’t try to use the same auction a day later, the odds might be against you.

3) Just cuz it was not good enough for me and I didn’t attach value to it didn’t take away the desire in my friend’s heart. Sometimes, we just have to remember that one size certainly doesn’t fit all and in relying on friends to make decisions for us, it very much depends on who you’re talking to. Just the way you wouldn’t go asking a quack to diagnose your health, don’t go asking one who’s never been in a relationship about your boyfriend’s behaviour..what do you expect to hear?

4) On the converse side, don’t do it cuz everyone is doing it-Take a good and quick look at what you’re doing now, where you are now-job, r/ship,house, school- Are you there because you’re indeed getting something out of it, or are you just buying into A hype?

That’s my Monday Tonic for you.

Have a splendid week ahead and stay in good temperature!
Bourgy Babe

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Make a difference today

Dear DIARY!!

Guess who’s back!!!!

I have soooooo much to tell you, so much happened while I was away and while I may not be able to capture all that has transpired in the space of 3weeks of being AWOL, I will chip em in from time to time.

Ooooh November! you bring so much treats and like that grown kid in a store, ‘ve been scooting between Aisles topping my stash with all sorts of luxuries selecting the best in all eccentricity that I completely abandoned my writing duties. Here I am after much said and done, still filled with the luxuries and pockets of joy saying the Me I was 3weeks ago is certainly not the same person today. I have stretched my mind and I have metamorphosed and I’m just waiting for my reality to catch up with my mind.

In the last three weeks, I’ve gotten promoted thrice, changed houses, succeeded in a few projects and achieved quite a lot some of which too personal to spew here all in my mind and I’m just waiting for my reality to catch up. To tell you the truth, despite it all happening in my mind, I feel as though its all happened and its just as real to me.

Anywayz, one of the promotions already happened in mind and in FACT and yesterday while at work in my new capacity, I said to myself, “Ehi, you are an amazing social worker but we’ll find you another field to utilize your talents”

So as a social worker bulk of my job responsibilities turns out to be emotional .As I provide services, I attempt to encourage, heal and lift but yesterday was in fact daunting. You think after 2years, I should have seen it all and heard it all and I thought so too but no amount of experience could have prepared me for yesterday’s ordeal. Raw pain, unedited and brutal hurt. Just Imagine having a fresh wound with a huge pound of flesh dangling along and been hooked to a truck in a wedged road in Africa and just dragged along until all your genital parts have been ripped and filed flat but the tragic part is you don’t’re left in your own wounds with hot pepper poured on it!

Due to the disturbing and graphic content of it, I’ll stop painting the picture now but this was a quarter of what I heard yesterday, yes, people have some major challenges and after bawling my eyes out (which you should never do before a client) I was glad for the life I had, but I concluded I could not continue in this field for too much longer.

Yes, I’m resigning but I will continue serving in that capacity for my personal projects in the future and hopefully gather some emotional tenacity when that time comes along.

But remember, I said I got promoted thrice in my mind, don’t be worried for me I have two other levels that are not social work and haven’t manifested so I’ll update you when I resume my new jobs.

After seeing two clients yesterday and crying so much I also feel so much rewarded as their hard lives became a little easier to deal with because they met with me.

Yesterday, amongst other obvious lessons, I learned that while sharing tears and getting involved in others pain and hurt is great but what is also great is been able to do something about it and make an impact in their lives.

I’ll like to hear some of your experiences with empathy please share!

Have a fabulous day and Make a difference today!

Monday, November 15, 2010

Your 6th Sense

“Ojota Ojota ojotoaa!!!” ”Pay your money, lets gooo!!”

“Sissy, which way na? U no see say I wan pass? “

“should I fly? where you want make I go“…“e be like say you dey craze“.

.“ojota ..ikorodu“..“fine girl, I go carry you for free“…“God punish your fada, idiot!..“

“ abeg, who give you drivers license sef? “ “Oshodi Oshodi Oshodi.!!.“ “Aunty, u go buy orange? I go sell for you well”

If you have lived anywhere in Nigeria before, Paint the picture. this is a familiar roar..and except you live under a rock, you are no stranger to this raucity ..its prominent in cities like Lagos, New york, London, Toronto and even smaller ciies are not immune to the drama. I’m talking about the noise, the rowdiness, the chaos and structure or lack thereof.

It’s the Traders..Hawkers..Crazy Cyclists..Angry Motorists..Vendors.. Blaring horns, Curses (sensored and unsensored) flying all over and you are left behind to navigate and find your peace in the midst of the hustle and bustle

Peace and quiet is a luxury you compete for and when its all said and done your sanity compass boils down to how best you are able to utilize the noise around you and if all the that filters through your ears becomes background noise, you are on the upper echelon on a coping scale. However, if the noise becomes a focus or a distraction, let me welcome you to the league of extraordinary average people as you share the same story as many others.

The average person does not harness the potential of their 6th sense and will not stop to listen to their instinct. So I wrote a note about listening a post ago and today I experience first hand, the danger of downplaying your 6th sense.

It is now 10:20 am and I am currently writing away on the train when I should have been at work and the reason that I have been back and forth east -west today is because as soon as I heard my stop announcement on the train this morning ,I tossed the metro newspaper I was reading and I attempt to check the time and I realized ooops!! I don’t have my cell phone ..I had lost my cell phone ..Oooohh my! I def left the house with it but now squished between two folks on the subway, I cant feel my pouch on my hips..OMG..*freak out mode* check luck..darrrrnnn!!!

So I get outta the train and call my phone, no response..try a few more times, still no response..dayummm!! EhI, this is just sheer carelessness..chai!!

I start to think back to where or how my phone and pouch conspired to tick me off this morning to no avail..*high panic mode* lord pls let it land in the right hands

Few more calls and still no luck, *sober and reflective*

Then a familiar voice spoke up in the loudest ‘ve heard it ever ..'You were supposed to check the time after you'd gotten off the bus'..OMMMG!! I never did. I’m realizing that I was actually cautioned on losing my phone TWICE!!!

First, I remember looking at my pouch hanging loosely off my pocket and I thought to myself this phone can fall off anytime but I did nothing about it and didn’t even magnify that thought, it stayed off my radar.

2nd warning: While on the bus, a thought randomly occurred to me to check how long my bus trip was just after getting off.

If I had checked the time (which I would have done using my phone ) as my instinct suggested, I would have immediately noticed the loss of my phone or if I had changed the position from my pocket, all of this would not have happened.

Luckily, 2hours and 2 trips later I found my had indeed fallen in the right hands but I think its extremely important to rely on that still small voice that pops up every once in a while. To do this effectively, one has to wade and jostle through the Boisterousness and drama occurring around and find time to be still and listen.

Today, I learned to trust my instinct for directions, decisions and instructions

How is your relationship with your 6th Sense?

Yours sincerely
Bourgy Babe

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Dear Diary,

“God has been go…od to me, he has been fa..ith…ful, these are the words I mutter from my sleep as I lift the covers from my face and reach for the light switch.

This first 3seconds is usually the most quiet moment of my multitasking mind and so as I skip into the shower, these are the words I hear clearly, “Ehi, as you climb up higher, lift”..

Really? Whoa!!

I’d heard this before but it just passed right into my subconscious, never gave it a second thought as it applied to me so I hardly gave it any thought or expression but this voice in my head must have fought for an audience this morning so I listened.

How many times, do we scurry through our lives, day after day, week after week. Year after year and make moves contrary to what our earthly assignment is just because we failed to listen to our heart’s GPS.

Sometimes, we hear but we don’t listen. Many of us lead busy lives..we get so occupied with ourselves, career, relationships, what to wear, what to eat, what to tweet, who to tag, who said what and who did that, so much that we trample on our still small voice that’s there to lead us and guide us.

Speaking of our inner voice, I’m a big believer that everything we ever need to know (a plaguing issue, a major decision ) we already have the answers to. If ever you need a life guide, look no further, it all lies within. How many times do we find ourselves in despondable situations where we are at our wits end like trying to decide if it’s a left or right turn or trying to decide between two equally great programs to bag a masters degree or a job in completely different cities or trying to make the big decision of a life partner amongst many suitors.

I do not know anyone who hasn’t been confronted with big decisions yet often times what happens with us is we immediately declare a state of Confusion like the rate at which the average person says “I’m Confused” or “I do not know what to do” is in itself ‘Confusing’, like, when did we all get together to agree and decide to be confused?

The truth is you possess the means within you to know all Truth and if you’re still unclear about something, its because, you have not settled down to ask yourself probing questions and if you did, you have failed to LISTEN. You know that force within that just makes you gravitate towards a particular choice even when you don’t understand why? you should seek its counsel more often, its your instinct or your 6th sense and for some, its your sub-conscious helper and for some others, the holy spirit.

It speaks all the time, the question is, do you LISTEN?

Sometimes, all we need to solve that impossible situation is settle down and get away from everyone and everything (if need be) and just spend some quality time with our selves.

The problem is not that we are confused or do not know what to do, actually we know too much and have ALL the answers but we just dont LISTEN.

So what you're saying Ehi is that i just need to be boring and lonely and i will find an answer? USUALLY? YES!

And self care/soul searching is never have lots to talk about with yourself. Try it now, turn off the TV..shut down your YES RIGHT NOw!

Clear your mind..get a blank sheet of paper and just write down your solutions and answers..write whatever comes to mind..

i'll stop typing now because i have to do the same.

Have a blessed week ahead.

Bourgy Babe.

Monday, November 1, 2010


Dear Diary,

Today, I woke up with the song by William Mcdonell “I give myself away so you can use me”

And I sang that song in tears and in singing that song, I must have transcended into another realm cuz I was in tune with my spirit and every fibre of my being was in agreement with me.

As I think of myself in all my weaknesses, I’m reminded of my childhood days when I played with plastacine and clay to make creative pieces and I remember vividly how I’d struggle to even out all wrinkles and fault lines to gain the title of the “Finest Creative“ in class. Often times, when I am all done molding, some crease will appear from nowhere then I’ll go back to try to work on it some more just to at least get close to a perfect picture. Funny enough, whatever I molded came out ‘faulted‘ almost like some part always needed some pressing-in or some smoothing-out however, they all were unique and beautiful in different ways.

In my meditation this morning, I brought to my memory those days of clay work and it reminds me of my current state, FLAWED but PURPOSEFUL I consider. how weak and vulnerable I am at the time I mean I have shortcomings, I have weaknesses. Lots of them, I have faults…if I have to space shift into perfection, I couldn’t get there in a long time, yes, I’m a million miles away from perfection.

But I give up all of that to my inventor, he created me and I’m sure he chose to make me a prototype so I dare not think I’m all sufficient and i can "do bad all by myself". I bet when God made a mold of me, IT had holes..I reckon my clay had some uneven surfaces which I imagine he often had to smoothen out. However, he left some holes there and it was done on purpose.

Today, let me challenge you to pick yourself from whatever position your weakness has got you in, set free from the guilt and shame of not being a certain way, you were never created to be like someone else much less, perfect.

Today, I celebrate my inadequacies and my shortcomings because its given me such a sense of dependency and reliance on God and it doesn’t matter what I become or what I don’t, I forever praise God for making me ME, with all my baggage because I am FLAWED but PURPOSEFUL.

Yours in Submission
Bourgy Babe

This note was birthed from the comfort of my cozy bed.
At: 6:30am,November 1st 2010

Saturday, October 23, 2010

This is my Confession

Dear Diary,

I am so happy…soo very happy. ‘ve got the love of Jesus in my heart. I am so happy. so very got the love of jesus in my heart.

This is the tune on my lips this morning..I havent sang that song in over 10years and for some reason, it just enters my lips..shocked? I am!

As I mouth this sunday school rhyme, I remember an incident that happened a few days ago..A colleague gave me a ride in her car and I started singing and 10seconds into my rendition, she reached for the radio and slowly turned up the volume..and I just burst into laughter!

Why would you do that? I asked..and this is what came out of her mouth “Ehi, you must really think you can sing, I always hear you attempting one song or the other around the office, please stop cuz you suck!”

That was definitely an ‘LOL’ moment for me and I began to explain to her where I was coming from.

I grew up like most other kids where your parents scolded you if you did something wrong and praised you for doing right. However my mama is extra liberal with her praise and generously reminded me who I was several times daily.

She calls me a Princess of glory,, angel and all sorts of 1derful names I guess you can say its similar to the “ORIKI” names some people go by but it wasn’t just praise, It was a real consistent message that was intentional and deliberate and that also came with her telling us(my siblings and I) not just who we were but what we could be and where we would go.

She would say things like your future is so bright, you will be sought after by heads of state to proffer a solution, you would have breakfast in Dublin, lunch in England and dinner in New York because you will be very important to your world!

Now, come to think of it, I don’t know how possible that will be considering the distance and the jet lag but I BELIEVED IT..

So amongst many other things she tells me, is that I CAN SING!! so don’t blame me Jennifer, if I don’t believe you, its too late to change mama’s opinion!

The great business about been consistently fed with confession especially as a child is that you have no RIGHTS whatsoever to think or say otherwise to yourself because you learned to trust the source, also you pick up from where your source stops.

Even when mom wasn’t always there to tell me who I was, I never forgot my identity.. I continued where mama stopped. I kept on saying “I’m a princess of glory and I’m going places” I must have said that for over 10years until I recently adopted another mantra which was inspired by my pastor Wale, “I’m going very far”

Now, when I speak to my mom, occasionally she still calls me a Princess of Glory but the great thing is she doesn’t even have to remind me of my name, I know who I am.
All I’m trying to say is speak over your life and mean it ..I remember clearly when I started saying “I am going places” repeatedly, I don’t even think I understood fully what it meant but over the years, I’ve come to believe it and now, I act like it. I behave like it. I talk like it.


Self confession is the most effective way to believe and whatever you can conceive and believe, you can definitely achieve.

The human mind is so malleable, you can literally manipulate your mind into a mold and believe anything about yourself and soon enough your reality will be an expression of the mold just like you imagined.

As you have said it in my hearing, so will be done unto you-The Bible

Once you have said it, twice have I heard it-The bible

I am going very far, I am the head and not the tail. I am a Royal. I am a city set upon a hill that cannot be hidden. I am a star and I am making an impact in my world.This is what i tell myself everyday.

Remember, you are not what people call you but what you call yourself and what you answer to.

This is my Confession. Can I hear yours?

Yours Sincerely,
Bourgy Babe ©

Translation: ‘ORIKI’ refers to praise names or aliases given to people by a member of their family, who is usually an older relative or grandparent. It is an old tradition that has been practiced by the Yoruba tribe of Nigeria.

This note was birthed on:
The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC)
At: 7:40am, Thursday Oct 21st, 2010

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Expression to your Inspiration

Dear Diary,

I have moved from been a cathartic writer to an inspirational writer within the space of 7months.

I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to pen my thoughts. I realise it’s a privilege and I do not take it for granted.

The wonderful news about a 4hr commute within the fine city of Toronto is the moments I share with myself…my thoughts are more profound fountain of inspiration is spread across an assortment and wide array of elements. what I used to call chaos on the TTC is now to me a beautiful mosaic of different people with various agendas-Thank God for creativity.

So, its exactly 7:58am and I’m on the bloor-danforth subway line enroute to work and I pick up my “Open Heavens” to do my devotion (I’ve managed to channel my commute into my reading, devotion, writing, praying, observation, times) and I see "giving expression to inspiration.."

Afterwards, I proceeded to pick up yesterday’s Toronto Metro Newspaper and I read the success story of Canadian business, GOT JUNK” its an interesting story.
The brain child behind that business that is worth well over 100million dollars now, first got his inspiration and idea of been a ‘rubbish man’ at a McDonalds drive thru!!

A lot of times what happens with me and most others is we keep asking and praying for a break through and God doesn’t sell ‘breakthroughs’ rather he gives us the means to BREAK THROUGH through the most raw and basic ideas such that we can utilize the creativity and brains that he by the way has given us, to give form and birth these ideas.
Some of us (myself included) must realize that heaven doesn’t use currency…they have no money up there!none whatsoever to give us.
If the CEO of GOT JUNK had not acted fast on the idea that came to him when that junk car passed by him at the McDonalds drive thru, can you imagine what he’d have lost out on?

A moment of brilliance can come to you at any time, its best to pen down your thoughts and not dismiss it as ridiculous..that “Ridiculous” idea just might be your meal ticket and its unjust and unfair to yourself to not give it expression.

Once again, I’m thankful for my portable laptop, its probably the best gift I’ve gotten this year and was given to me by a special person. Because of this laptop I’m able to write as many thoughts and ideas as they flow to my mind and take it every where I go. You too can journal your thoughts on a note book or a diary or an electronic device like I do.

Either ways, remember to give Expression to your Inspiration as they come!

Yours Creatively,
Bourgy Babe

This note was birthed:
On: TTC-Bloor-Danforth Line, Toronto, Canada
At: 8:33am, EST. Oct 19th, 2010

Resist the Party

Dear Diary,

You know what has alwayz intrigued me? People who walk around wearing smiles and filled with laughter when there’s a storm happening right in their hearts.

Endurance and fortitude are traits I’ve come to develop over time and some times when I have a lonnnnnng period of drought and trying times and it just seems like the tunnel never ends and its hard to imagine anyone else has it tougher than you.

Infact one can even get caught up In this mess so much that we have debates with friends on who has it tougher, almost like we’re competing for last place..little by little..sentence by sentence…every gossip..every phone call..every convo. brings us closer to our doom and with every word, and every consolation like “eya pele o”, “poor you, how are you coping” we ‘re drawn closer to our waterloo.

This party goes on and on…you continue to invite more guest..and seek more attention and before you know it, you are the host of the PITY PARTY and you do not realize it!!

Notice how it starts with words and just merely saying it and shortly after, negative emotions automatically invite themselves to those words unconsciously. because when we say, “Damn, I am screwed” the next time we are saying “why am I the only one that has so many problems” the next line slowly turns into something like this: “I am a failure, I am nobody” for the simple reason that its hard to keep a smiley face and maintain a good attitude when you say “I’m in trouble”. Even if you do not mean to get depressed those words automatically bring along their matching emotions.

There, you have it, you’re now the MC of your own Pity Party dictating the schedule and introducing the next item on the agenda because you know for a fact that the next email you receive is a rejection letter and you already have familiarized yourself with the tone and pitch of failure it knows you by your nick name!

Anyhow these were some of the thoughts I battled with last week as I was tempted to make a pity party for myself … until I met some one whose problems made mine look like cotton candy on a nice summer day!

It’s like the little boy who was crying he had no shoes till he met another fellow who had no feet!

then I said to myself ehi, retrace your steps, it aint even that serious.

Lessons Learned

Regardless of what you’re facing, remember it could be worse and there’s people going through more difficult situations and maintaining a great attitude.

At every phase of one’s life, there’s always a lesson to be learnt, this particular thought has always kept me going in trying times because I tell myself, its just a phase and it will pass. you always have to remember, nothing ever last forever, the tide will turn but it will be very tragic if the phase just passes by without getting any lessons out of it.

Its like going through training or attending lectures and taking tests without any real certificate. Imagine going to Medical school for years and on your last day, you’re told you cant practice as a doctor or allowed to implement any training you received, frustrating eh?

Every Phase of Life brings with it a life lesson, its tuition free but you cant learn it in any formal institution, maximize the opportunity and Resist the Party.

Have a blessed week,
Bourgy Babe

“Eya, Pele o” literally means: “Aww…sorry” in the Yoruba language of Nigeria

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Get a Jar your size.

Dear Diary,

Thank God..I’m in a state of glee right now..I am extremely happy today. I had a much better day than yesterday and I ‘m just excited about that.

Today, I got much done at work and it was generally a productive day for me..

So whilst standing at a reception of an office, I noticed a transparent COIN jar asking for donations to a Social Service agency with stickers that read Pennys, $20cents, 25Cents, 5cents and it was filled to the brim with Pennys.

Last week, I stopped by an African restaurant and while waiting on my food to be packed in the take-away plates, I caught sight of the TIP jar and I held it and attempted giving a tip but the almost empty jar wouldn’t take my money as it neither had room nor an outlet for paper currency.

The same week, I walked down the tunnel at Yorkdale Mall and I noticed a gentleman playing the steel pan and entertaining passers by and I looked intently in his make believe money box which was a guitar case and lo and behold I saw a variety of bills all varying amounts and of course some coins here and there

Honestly, I was startled and upon reflection I began to draw a connection between these three scenarios..
They all had something in common-they all needed support from completely random people.
However, they all had various mindsets and expectations.

Life truly does hand you what you ask for and what you have room to contain. Notice in the first case scenario, the implication of the coin jar with stickers of penny’s automatically pre empted just that, PENNY’s!

With regards to the African restaurant, I began to think that even I really wanted to show bountiful kindness in tips, I was held back. I just wasn’t allowed to give past a coin as the narrow tip box only had a coin slot and would not accommodate my generous tip.

However, my Yorkdale entertainer came with a bigger container, a bigger expectation and got bigger results, although I’m not sure if he understood this concept prior to coming up with a guitar case or it just happened to be. My point is, the ocean of wealth and opportunities is HUGE! and there’s enough for every one. If you bring a cup, it will get filled likewise, if you bring a bucket it will also get filled.

Don’t limit yourself with a small jar as what you get depends very much on the size of your container.

So what are you waiting on? Get a jar your worth and I really hope you know your worth.

Much Love,
Bourgy Babe

Tuesday, October 5, 2010


Dear Diary,

My heart is heavy…its soo heavy I literally have to source for something to make me I made up a gratitude list to remind me of things that are working so I don’t get consumed with whats NOT.

I’m usually able to bounce back quicky when I experience this feeling..but this time its harder than usual..i hardly journal twice a day except for days like today when my writing is more cathartic than anything else..its taking a lot to provoke a happy hormone..I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the wet n cold weather or if its just primarily the much not going my way..I’m still trying..I continue to make effort to knock it off

It’s consolin to hear good news reeling all around me though..marriage proposals, job offers, house purchases happening to my friends..

Those made me smile and I know mine is on its way and I’m willing to wait for it.

Today It rained and I got drenched and I hated it BUT I got a ride a mini distance and I got home safely

Today, some one close to me really disappointed me and made me sad BUT some one showed me so much kindness and went out of his way for me

Today, I missed an appointment to run an errand BUT today I delivered some service and got compensated for it

Today, I sat in front of my computer and did little BUT today I made it to work safely in my 4inch stilettos, helped two clients and learnt about hair

Today, I wished today never came BUT today makes me appreciate better days like Tomorrow.

Good Night,
Bourgy Babe.


Dear Diary,

Its wet..its rainy..its cold..REALLY COLLLD..

No, its not my first fall or winter but I cant seem to get used to the cold..every year feels like my first..

So I sit here and await a client and before she gets here, I just have a minute to share with you what burden has been on my heart lately.

Is it too much to Ask that a Man whom you’re in a relationship with doesn’t cheat?

Recently, I did a study/research where I was lucky to pin some down some young men from African descent to have a talk with them on the subject of cheating…The results ladies, is astounding!…sadly astounding, that is.

Since I promised I was not going to mention any real names or start my gossip magazine, they were honest enough to open up to me.

The bottom line of the research was, I wish I never broke my heart and confirmed my fears.

So, started I started with a 26 yr old man from Nigeria and asked him. “Tunde, do you think all men cheat?”

"Duh! Of course all men cheat, how you tink say we go survive”? we’re competitive by nature so to keep things exciting, we have to keep chasing and stay in the game".

Really?? This Is about a competition?

I ask Lenny from South Africa the same question and he was generous to give me some numbers.

"yea..i’d say 98% of us cheat and any man that tells you he doesn’t is a liar except he’s a pastor..and even that you never know (laughs) but we don’t do it to hurt our wives/girlfriends, we love our spouses nonetheless..and I’ll make it known to my mistress that there’s a MADAM and she comes first"

Wow!! *Heart Broken*

I wonder why men cheat..let me ask Tatenda, my friend from Zimbabwe.

"you wanna know? I don’t know why we cheat, there’s no WHY..I guess it’s the curse of man"!

And this is not a satisfactory answer for my pretty head, lets see what Hugue sayS

Hugue:"Madam women’s right activist, can you eat the same food all your life"?

Are you serious?? &*^%@!!! This is BS!!


Like that was not even bad enough, I asked some ladies about the situation of men cheating and one of them had this to say

"Yup,I know all men cheat and I make it clear to my husband to do it very far from me so I do not hear about it..i give him the permission to do it with white girls so I never find out”


Ladies o!!

One of them even jokes saying: "if Halle Berry can be cheated on, who are my"?

So just like every problem in life, when it arises, you seek a solution so I ask, what can a woman do about it? How can a cheating spouse be prevented and the response I got from both cheating males and females was NOTHIN!

“Personal care and maintenance may have been a driving force for me to look outside but that’s not the issue”

“Yea, you cant cook or clean or make me feel like a man, but that aside, I will still get my groove on..just not with you”

Now, you see why I’m bothered…it’s a crazy world out there.

More interesting than men who cheat, are the ladies who know they are Mistresses or ‘Plan B’ (as I like to call them) and still go ahead and frolick with another woman’s property..

I don’t like to play second fiddle and I cant settle to be #2 or the ‘Other woman’ that’s why I am determined to speak to the offenders of this Unpardonable crime and know what the hell they’re thinking.

*Stay Tuned*

Note that the result of this research is not conclusive.

To the 2% who respect the institution of marriage and understand the word ‘COMMITMENT’, congratulations!

Another dimension of this craze is women who have been involved with a married man or one who’s was in a relationship and were not aware!

I'm in talks with some of the victims of non-intensional home wreckage.


Are you one of the 2%?

Bourgy Babe

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I’m getting ‘THERE’

To me, THERE is a place where every thing makes sense, it’s a place of clarity, where it seems like the elements and the universe have conspired to favour you.

‘THERE’ signifies a place of strength, a place where you thank God for the suffering and pain you were exposed to because you realize how much of your life you owe to an ugly past else there will be no story for a colorful NOW..

‘THERE’ is a place of gratitude…almost like a place of confluence… where the nile meets and all you’ve struggled for in time past just falls into your hands effortlessly, easily and happily.
The bible talks about how your lines are falling in pleasant places..When you get ‘THERE‘, this scripture makes so much more sense..

‘THERE’ makes it all worth all your experiences, including the pain you have felt, books you’ve read, speakers you’ve heard, people whom you’ve “accidentally” met and all you have been exposed to gives room to reason.

‘THERE’ is a beautiful place..its knows no struggle, no confusion, brings no sweat or furrows to your brows. Everything comes to you naturally and with great rewards.

Can you imagine someone paying you millions to shop? or dine out? or do something you absolutely love? the feeling of elation eh? oh its like a square peg in a square discomforts of any kind..

If you’re still on your way ‘THERE‘, keep going..don’t stop journeying…you might be a bus stop away..the driver doesn’t make any stop announcement because when you get THERE, you will know it!

‘THERE’ is not very far away

Yours in Faith,

Thursday, September 23, 2010

The last 21days

Dear Diary,

Its been long..21days long!

Sitting here in this restaurant waiting for my meeting to begin and I pull out my very handy laptop of a companion and this is what my last 21days has been like:

Day 1. I need new things to start happening in my life and I’m craving NEW so bad that I let my lease run out so I get a new place.

Day 2. I will resume working on a project that will opportune me to change people’s perspectives and mindset on Africa and It excites me plenty much

Day 3. I’m on a mission to make a HUGE impact in my world so I’m doing all I know to increase my capacity

Day 4. I adopted Jennifer Hudson’s motto from weight watchers.. I can. I will. I am

Day 5. I felt like I needed to lose weight and work out

Day 6. I feel like I’m doing too much at the same time…I’m just wearing too many hats and I need to give up one or two

Day 7. I have recently had at least 10 conversations about cheating husbands/boyfriends and I’m terrified!!

Day 8. I MUST parent a set of twins.

Day 9. I do not remember the last weekend I was home doing nothing…hosting events has me all weekend long

Day 10. I want to be a princess..I should have been born a princess...heck! I am a princess!

Day 11. Is it me or is every one you know born in September? Anywayz, I am excited for my birthday 41 days away

Day 12. I want to go vintage shopping because I’m due for a photo shoot

Day 13. I woke up this morning and realized how rusty my pidgin was and this is after I’ve given up on my ‘Esan’, so I’m deciding to continue my french lessons

Day 14. I’m taking Public Speaking Classes to sharpen my speaking skills

Day 15. I reconsidered my decision to set up my foundation for Abused Women in Africa when my friend told me lots of African Dads sexually abused their daughters

Day 16. I am desperate to get my hair to grow so I am now praying over it, speaking into it and laying hands on it to grow

Day 17. The older I get the more I wanna play and just live life as a child

Day 18. The Bourgeoisie Show is out pretty soon and I’m excited plenty much!!

Day 19. I’m considering becoming a vegetarian..I love meat but I imagine going without it will help me take better care of this sexy temple called Ehi.

Day 20. If you have to see it to believe it, you may never see it, ask any fine artist

Day 21 I have not blogged in 21 days and I missed it!!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010


Dear Diary,

Do i take thee???

I’d have to think about it.

For how long? It depends
on my clarity..3mths? or 3yrs maybe? I couldn’t tell ya..

What does my thinking involve? Observing prayerfully. Observing mindfully. Observing objectively.

So I may not be the expert on this subject but I know choosing a life partner is the most crucial decision one would ever make in their lifetime, as a spouse can single handedly drive your aspirations or inhibit them.

Every where around me for some odd reason, holds a dialogue about marriage..every one is chanting it…BBM status…text messages..facebook…phone calls..twitter…face-to-face..either someone is tieing the knot or somebody Is getting served.

I cant run away from it..its in the air..its in my face!

Personally, I think Marriage is one of the greatest institutions ever created but one that’s not fully Explored. I often compare Marriage to my Phone contract..there’s a lot of fine prints and it does take time and effort to go over every one of the terms and conditions and really who has time to analyse a contract when my brand new phone is nicely packaged in the box waiting to be launched right?

Now, Imagine you have a Black Berry Curve which you absolutely love and have gotten so used to and then you notice your track ball falls off and after a few mishaps, you decide to trade in your scratched- up, beat- down, worn -out phone for a brand new, “Tear Rubber”, Black Berry Bold. That’s all well and dandy..BEFORE THE CONTRACT.

After uttering those two powerful syllabic words, “I DO” (signing a contract) you cant exactly “upgrade” your device, you have to stick with whatever model you get and at best, download various applications which did not come with your original package. *Ambition Application* *Faithfulness Application* *Financial Prudence Application* *Domestic Application*

The truth is that you may desire an application and find out that its NOT compatible with your Device.

Breaking the contract is ugly and should be avoided at all costs…so after much consideration what i really think we should do is change our vows to reflect our harried lives and the realities of a 21st century precarious type of union.

I really think if we enlarged the fine prints and people knew what they were getting into, they will be sure to think and double check before taking 'the big leap'.

Imagine the standard vow sounded something like this:

And to add to that, mine would probably sound like this:

"Do you promise to take me shopping whenever I deem fit , leave love notes on the fridge every day before work ,open all doors for me including the car door and keep me company in the kitchen while I make dinner?"


Before saying “I DO” and inking any signatures, take time to study the contract properly, make sure you read and agree to the Terms and Condition of this contract

This Contract Is your lottery ticket if you pair up with a device that runs a Millionaire application and even in cases of explosion, another application called spousal support automatically installs itself.

This union has the tendency to make you grin and smile to yourself occasionally at odd times

Side effects of this contract may include some UNreasonable level of happyNESS or UNreasonable levels of Misery...FOREVER!

The basic element of this contract is VALUE..its either been added or deducted

This contract has a WHOLEsome effect and leaves you feeling like there’s nothing else to do; when done right you are COMPLETE and when gone wrong, you are FINISHED!

So before you say "I DO", please do some soul searching and know exactly what you're saying "I DO" to.

Food For Thought: A Good man is better than a good Job. Agree/Disagree

Yours Forever
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Blue Blood

Dear diary,

Today, I had a phone conversation with a person which led him to talk about a certain princess from Africa.

Initially, when he said it, I chuckled within as I have not heard the term “Princess” used in a serious manner in a long time. Before now, my friends and I would use the expression 'Are you a princess' when someone acted like a diva or wanted everything done for them and today the reason I chuckled was because my mind immediately connected with that joke.

In my quiet time as I meditated and searched my thoughts, it got me thinking even more seriously that whoever that princess is must have gotten herself accustomed to that term/ title..Its probably not an ‘LOL‘moment when somebody addresses her as princess as it was for me this afternoon.

I am not blind to the fact that this regal title may or may not make her feel any different from the rest of us regulars as I know there are wretched and miserable royals. So I want to focus on the type of royalty that makes one talk, act and attract magnificence and brilliance to their lives.

Even a common person can tell you that a crown does not make a Princess, afterall how does a tiara made of metallic materials make one a princess..its the doors that are open and the result of the status of that title that bring the royaalty..hence my scribble today..

There's a princess in every one of us..Talk like one..Act like one..dress like one..associate with fellow royalty and royal things will happen to you.

soverignty is inherent in each of us and you and i were born royals but sometimes we forget to walk in it hence mediocrity happens to us

Forget the title, Royalty is a state of mind..if you feel like blue blood then you will be treated as such

An excuse to show you my hair..'m making progress! lol

So lets wear our imaginative tiara's and get your bourgy act are royalty!

Yours in Magnificence
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Monday, August 23, 2010

The Benefit Of Doubt

Dear Diary,

I am now sitting here at this Mental Health workshop and i wanted to share a few thoughts quickly.
I have been told to love all and trust none however as I grew up into my own person, I attended a few seminars and self help workshops which focused on conscious living and being aware of your feelings, so I learned differently. They we both very conflicting messages but I made a choice-One that would define my relationship with human beings-I was told that if you opened up to a person, they might hurt you but I was also taught that to live consciously which means you had to trust people even if you don’t know them. While it might expose your vulnerabilities to do so, it is an effective lifestyle to purge yourself of assumptions and past hurts and wounds.

So in my exercise in ‘conscious living’, you are asked to walk to a complete stranger, make absolutely no body contact and look between their lids eyeball to eyeball ball and say to them genuinely and sincerely ‘I TRUST YOU’ and if you're able to do that without doubts in your mind, you will have begun a liberating process as your guards are down, your walls are broken and all holds are barred.

A big chunk of living consciously teaches you to ‘Trust foolishly’. When I first did this exercise, my biggest challenge was overcoming of “I don’t-know-them-why-should-i-trust-them”? but then I overcame that challenge by thinking of it from the dimension of “i-don’t-know-them-why-shouldn’t-i-trust-them”? right? They haven’t hurt why not eh?

So I sit here in my mental health training and this lady is staring me down head to toe almost as if I have two heads..she occasionally turns away to listen to the material being presented and focuses back on me. At this point I’m actually getting furious and uncomfortable like..why is she gazing so intently..then my fury turns into paranoia..maybe there's food crumb on my mouth..NO THERE WASNT!

Ok..10mins break and i rush off to the had to be my hair standing or something..well, opening the bathroom door guess who's trailing closely behind me? yesss..The staring lady!

Then the most amazing thing happens...she walks right to me and says "You have the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen and you are one geogeous lady!" *Gasp* *3seconds later* Wow! Thank you so much was my reply.

**Extremely Flustered**

Long story short, we got talking...she was the nicest lady and i pinched myself for harbouring those thoughts..


You know already..give people the benefit of doubt..not every gazer is a hater!

Everyone deserves a chance to be trusted..dont let past hurt and pain cause you to recline

Yours In-Trust
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fake it till you Make it

Dear Diary,

Its great to feel in high esteem…I remember what I coined Ehi’s Mantra for a while...”Fake it till you make it”..i actually bring that phrase to mind frequently when I am opportuned to be in the ”Right Company”

For me, I’m in the “Right Company” when I’m in an extremely posh and upscale place in the midst of people whom I aspire to be. For a long time, the right company was extremely uncomfortable as I could not speak in abbreviated language or slangs as I usually do, most people here are well dressed and carry themselves with poise and decorum…if you’re having dinner, table manners are in unconscious enforcement, and the idea of prim and proper is in full effect. Do not be mistaken, I am apt and proper all the time when I need to be but when i go out to play tennis or have drinks, I am in the most relaxed mood and I want to be hassle free.

So writing this, I remember when I would go out with my dad to some high end functions with ‘knowledgeable’ people who were much older than me and would somehow find myself in some guarded area or what we’ve now come to know as VIP area, I remember feeling intimidated and panicky.

That was when I was a child and knew nothing. Recently I had the chance of being in the “right Company” and that childhood feeling of anxiety was about coming back and you know how the mind works, i thought the most discouraging things...(you weren’t even invited..Somebody is gonna come send you away..) and I just paused…thought for a second and said I belong here and I just blended right in and it felt good.

I think of my friend who told me a story of how he found himself in some big music awards show. Although he didn’t have an invite, he wanted to be there and so he composed himself and walked through the gates chatting up with celebrities like Paris Hilton exuding poise and self assurance and he really just blended in so much that it would have been jeopardizing to security to ask if he had a pass!

Lessons Learned
Every time you find yourself in a place that seems like “Right Company” and you’re tempted to feel uncomfortable…Ask yourself this question...Why can’t I belong here? Who says I can’t be crème de la crème? Act like a Bourgeois till you feel like one.
So if you don’t feel like you belong to OUR league of the High and Mighty, I say Fake it till you Make it!

Loyally Speaking
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The Last Word

Dear Diary,
I can NEVER win an argument! I can NEVER win an argument!! I can NEVER win an argument!!!

*say this 3times when you wake up every day Ehi*

So I got in an unnecessary battle with words today with a partner/friend..i cant tell you how terrible I felt after wards..why do we always try to have the last word? No one is giving me a dime to have the last say but when I’m in a fury, I can do whatever it takes to say the last “whatever” or kiss the last teeth

So I wake up this morning to find out I have a major conflict on my schedule between two commitments, one was a personal appointment but of HIGH importance and the other? A speaking engagement, which I had given my word to about a month ago.
I pick up my phone and make a quick phone call to my partner and say hey listen, I cant make this personal engagement only because I’m already committed to something else and I have been for the last month or so..Anywayz, to cut the long story short, this personal important meeting of mine only came up 3days ago and I felt that since I had given my word out for the speaking engagement, I MUST commit to it and deliver but my partner was of the opinion that this personal project was hella important and anything else coming in the way could take a back seat. We seemed to differ in our reasoning and I’d be damned to shut up and listen to this foolishness hence I figured it was a better idea to rant and ramble and argue and talk back and exercise my right of speech so I did just that!

Boy, did it feel good to have the last word and teach somebody a lesson of a lifetime but this “glorious” feeling didn’t last too long as literally 3seconds after I hung up, it dawned on me Not a damn thing was resolved, not a solution found..infact if ever a time I felt drained, it was now!

So sitting here in this office ready to pack off for the weekend, I can tell you, I NEVER everrrr never eveeerrrr want to have the last word AGAIN!! Its up for grabs..Take it if you so desire

Winning only happens when we all win…its not about blames, its about understanding and finding solutions. I only wanted to be heard so I turned to yelling and raising the roof top


You can never come to an amicable conclusion or find a solution with an augument..give up the thrill of having the last word
So I know this is no cookie cutter or fly-by-night dose but I’ll keeping taking it daily and learning

Yours Sincerely
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Friday, August 6, 2010

Realistically Speaking

Dear Diary,

I get it! I finally get it!!

I think I do…I hope I do..its pretty clear to me now so I’m sure I do.
So how many times have I made up a list about my ideal man..i do it evry so often..and I renew this list at least once in 3mths..yup..yup..that’s how much of a “hopeless Romantic” I am..

This list gets revised with just about evry other Romance Comedy I watch and the more I build these castles, the more I realize imma have to MAKE my own MAN cuz he don’t exist!

Not surprisingly, I never deemed any MAN fit to date him hence I was hardly in any relationship..aNYwayz, as time went on , It became clear to me that there was no such thing as Mr/Ms other words, there’s no PERFECT partner although there could be one just PERFECT for you.

In my critical study of relationships and whilst trying to observe my ideal relationships, I’m learning to NOT believe everything I see hook line and sinker…Sure, they look “CUTE” together but what they aren’t telling you is how hard they have to work to stay “CUTE” doubt they have hearts that beat as one and their attraction for each other is inseparable but you’re not there when they have to make sacrifices or forfeit personal luxuries to get that relationship to the perfect level.

So, making lists of qualities your ideal partner should possess is great however, I’m gradually learning that the only other thing worse than settling for less, is building castles in the air. I’m learning that what some of us do is wish for people we could not be..

In the study of human behavior, we are thought that if we want to be loved, we should love..if you need a friend, be a the same light can I just say that if we are going to make a list of attributes, please be worthy and first BE that list.

I was wasting my time focused on finding Mr. HIM and I completely forgot about making ME Ms. Perfect for Mr. Perfect. !

I learned that it was easier to work on personal growth and development to embellish the quality of people I was attracting than try to look for Mr. Perfect
Correct me if I’m wrong but how many times do you glance through that list and scoff cuz you know you aint even half the attributes or achievements you’re asking for..Too many times!

This is the theory I live by, establish yourself to the level of desirable attributes on your “list” and dont worry, whatever level you find yourself, there will be somebody for you.

So what do you think? Think i get it?

Please share your thoughts...

Realistically Speaking
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

The Overused S-Word

Dear Diary,

I almost got caught stressing…this week started off nicely as it was ushered in from a sparkling weekend…I played so much over the weekend, spent time with great people, ate good food, enjoyed good music..lets just say I was in a good place.
The new work week rolled in and I managed to keep the momentum and maintained my groove with harmony and perfect contentment with myself and my life until a few moments ago

Some things are not working quite as smoothly as I would have loved them to go, a few disappointments, over load from work, and before I realized, it was a chain of negative events brought about by my own thoughts and suddenly “I am stressed”
Now, the bad thing about this is that my mental dispensation is changed from blissful to gloomy but the great thing about this is, I am aware of the switch and I’m in search of opportunities to switch gears. While I’m still sulking about this and that, and waiting on my bus to arrive, I catch sight of a gentleman who’s also in the bus stop speaking on the phone in the heaviest Nigerian Igbo accent.

This gentleman totally made my day..Now, I’m chuckling and giggling at the odd conversation he’s having with someone probably in Nigeria and in a few minutes, I’m restored back to my old happy self.

Aside from his convo and igbo accent, something else about him straightened my frown and it was the envelope he held in his hands…it was an envelope I recognize as been from Citizenship and Immigration Canada. Oooh that explains the ferocious argument he’s having with whomever he’s talking to…oh boy, dude is probably facing a serious immigration challenge and here I was getting irritated over smack!

I think that just did it for me!

Sometimes, we are stressed because “coffee spilled on my white shirt “or “my car broke down and I hate the bus” or the most recent I heard “I asked for double-double and the server at Tim Hortons gave me double -triple” or “I got a parking ticket” so we say I AM STRESSED!

I learned something today,dont be too quick to declare the 'S'word.. save the “STRESS” word for when you really need it and I hope you really wouldn’t need it.
Its very much similar to sick days eh…some days you have a head ache or a stomach ache but you manage to go in to work because you know that you may really need that sick day for a more serious issue. Just typing this remind me of what a friend said, "I used up all my sick days so I called in DEAD!"

When you constantly refer to yourself as STRESSED, you will always get a good reason to stay in that state so you can rightly justify the word and its use.

Yours in harmony,
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Friday, July 30, 2010

some Tongue Lashing

Dear Diary,

It’s a chilled day for me…no work..just a few am home and my friend decides she’s tired of my braids and volunteers to take it which I oblige.
Evry black girl who is been honest with you will tell you after death, her topmost fear is stuntedhairgrowth phobia…so as I took out my hair..braid by braid, my anxiety attack panicing and fretting..wondering if my hair grew…ooh it better have.. at least an inch.

My Natural hair Right after taking off the braids

You know the next thought that occurred to me was I do not have to plead with my eyes to see or my heart to beat or cajole my nails to grow..why the heck do I stress so much for my hair to grow? #Randomthought

Eventually, I took out my braids and it grew..a strandy bit and as I stood infront of my mirror all I wanted to do was to have a conversation with my lovely hair and speak LIFE into it.

So I started affirming and speaking life to my hair and as I did it, you woulda thought I was going crazy..and I am reminded of a comment my friend made yesterday “A beggar has no choice” and even if he was being ‘proverbial’ I dont think its ever okay to confess something that does not represent you. Are you a Beggar??

So I have affirmations that I confess whenever I remember..”I am prosperous” “ I am fruitful” “I am going very far” I stood before my mirror today and did exact same thing to my hair..i blessed my scalp and I spoke LIFE.

I wonder if God granted all our wishes according to the words of our mouth, some people will be doomed because we have said rubbish and spoken ill of ourselves out of frustration or resentment

Remember, the power of LIFE and death lies in your tongue..use your mouth to speak LIFE..

It may not be your hair..maybe its something more serious..DONT ever say,” I cant get a job that great” or ”All men cheat, why wouldn’t mine?” Or “ I am broke” or “my life is over” or “ FML (F*** my life) “
So , lets do some Tongue Lashing..for good

Ehi Bourgeoisie

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Friendly Future

Dear Diary,

Its been a beautiful week thus far…I’ve just been favored and blessed!
So right now, am on the TTC on my way from work reading my book, I raise my head up and I’m immediately drawn towards an ad on the bus and it reads “TELUS, The future is friendly”

This is not the first time, I’m seeing this Telus Ad but today, I think something within me just resonated with the ad..i was staring at this ad for the longest time and thinking I have seen this ad a million times but why was I getting excited?
Maybe it’s the consciousness, the truth or the precision of that ad that got me animated ...i had finally cued into wasn’t just an ad..or string of was describing something pertinent to ME…MY LIFE..MY FUTURE..ITS FRIENDLY!!!

And of course, after this realization, I started to think of how I had not read this in this manner prior to now, I failed to see how bright my future was even if I had said it…I had not fully understood the enormity of it.

Despite your present circumstances right now,(broke; busted and disgusted, jobless, car-less,heart broken) I need you to come to the realization that I did yesterday..take your eyez off the present for a second. Your future is so bright its ridiculous!!

when you enter your dazzling future, you're gonna look back to these times and realize how senseless it was to even worry!

However, you need to know that Regardless of how luminous and friendly your future is, if you fail to really see it, you can’t walk into it

So get excited about your tomorrow,its worth doing a chicken dance for!

Yours in-excitement
Ehi Bourgeoisie

P.S: If you see me walking with some springs in my steps, its not cuz I bought new shoes(even if i have serious plans to do so) its because I am finally convinced my future is FRIENDLY!

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

What’s that you have in your hand?

Dear Diary,

Art…Craft…Hair…Photography…design…fashion..styling..painting…… talking…organizing.
These are all my thoughts today as I look through some face book pictures..I’m in awe!!

What’s the definition of an entrepreneur? I think its when you find something you can do and love to do and find a way to get paid for it…

Its no more news to hear that 23, 24 yr olds are incorporating successful businesses without the help of their parents.

Gone are the days when you hid behind the success of your heroes past…its no more cool to brag about the achievements of our parents...the new question is, what do you do??

Back in the days growing up n Nigeria, when people engaged in arguments or fights, they would start by saying”Do you know who my Father is”?
Everyone was quick to brag about daddy’s wealth and fortune, just in case you have not caught the drift yet, there’s still time to ask yourself what can I do for me with what I’m endowed with?

Today, I ‘m learning that you don’t have to see the whole picture to start sketching..get to work!

I am reminded of my hair stylist, Maggie from Ghana who makes awesome braids and makes a sweet living doing that TAX FREE!!

I am inspired by the consistency and determination of Eni ( DAVID) and Cynthia (Emua Fashions), for every needle poke and sleepless night is a dress and a designer closer to perfection.

I am motivated by the creativity of Atim (Afrolems) and William (Willyverse), its not just food or photography, it’s the ability to use your passion and share your gifting with the world

I am stirred up by my friends Angela (Angiemax hair studio) and Olamide (Elonn Magazine) because they understand that starting small doesn’t mean you are staying small.

Ayo Noble and Jibola Fagbamiye blow me away with their art and creativity and every time they pick up a paint brush or a sketch pad, all they’re saying to God is that they are grateful for the talent entrusted to them and they have the capacity to receive more.

Come out and be inspired by Ayonoble on her art show. Its a free event!!

Are you a new graduate that cant find a job? CREATE one for yourself and be your own boss!!

I need to find out what else I have in my hand I’m not using..while I’m at it, can I ask you

What’s that you have in your hand?

Yours Sincerely
Ehi Bourgeoisie

*None of the aforementioned individuals asked me to do this*

Monday, July 19, 2010

Get A Vision for it

Dear Diary,

The sun is great. The weather is nice.My shorts are out and I’m beaching.Usually summer time is a time to chill, relax and everyone lets their hair down and takes a break(vacation, cottage, trip to the mother land, sports…) or even just lounging and spending quality time with your home.

When you get into people’s homes, you can pretty much tell their stories from the visible indicators all around their houses.Some might have scented candles, pictures frames, flowers, awards, babypictures etc whatever the case is, you should have a very good grasp on their priorities and their journey thus far.

In my case, the first thing you notice when you come in through the doors is a drawn portrait of me that looks nothing like me and while you’re still trying to figure it and out and scrutinize this poorly drawn picture of me, immediately you get distracted and BANG! There it is!! Staring right at you, a board almost like a child’s school project and you see random scattered images of various pictures- a nice house,a car, my unpublished book,a beautiful studded ring and my agreement to be a wonder amongst alot other pictures..

From my studies of very successful people and in my personal life, I've found a vision board to be extremely effective. Not only does it drive me on mornings when i dont feel like doing anything, but it also serves as a reminder to God, the universe and my subconscious mind where i'm going My Vision Board
I've had a vision board for about 3years now and its amazing how 'mysteriously', the puzzle is coming together and i cant count how many times i've been called ehi-the-dreamer but i'd rather have "unrealistic" fantasies and expectations than dream small afterall there's only so much i can be and so far i can go with a "realistic" and "logical" frame of mind...

I urge you too to make a vision board with your dreams and your desires and when doing so, consider NOT your present circumstances or your available resources, that's not your job to figure out!


I've learned in theory and in practice that what you can conceive in your mind, you can achieve

I'm learning that success begins first with the mind and since your subconsious responds first to images and pictures,its important to feed your mind with images that resonate with your dreams

Yours in thought
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Iron Sharpeneth Iron

Dear Diary,

Life’s’s good..ahhhh..i’m living...Life’s been FABulous!!

So many moments of ecstasy I tell ya...i'm catching myself just grinning from ear to ear at very odd times and i did alot of that today.

I have always known that if you are gonna go anywhere noteworthy in life or make a significant impact, you need to find somebody whom you can look up to, one whom you find your groove with, one who inspires you and can discipline you when necessary.

In my case, my mentor happens to be my business partner..super sweet eh? Today we had a long talk at the office and Its amazing how much he entrusts on me..he gives me tremendous, mind blowing tasks and sometimes I think to myself, he must really believe in me.

Each time I’m with him, I find myself unconsciously writing away and as we sat down to talk (work) today, as usual, it ended up being a long talk and I’m inking away even while at lunch! He's such a body of knowledge and inspiration.

It was truly a fulfilling day today and as I skipped away to the train station in my 4inch heels, i bid him good bye and said Thank you Sir, I had a great time with you today. He just smiled assuredly (he was probably thinking, young lady, this your heels will soon come off LOL) and said Goodnight.

I left work feeling fulfilled, I was filled with knowledge and excited for my next talk with him. I realize there is lots of mountains to be crossed and though I have a long way to go, I’m encouraged I will get there if because I surround myself with people who are advanced in knowledge and experience.


On this first day of the working week, I’m learning that you can only go as far as the inspiration you’re getting from your surroundings.
Who are you surrounding yourself with? Energizer bunnies or Energy Zappers?

Its really dawning on me that you are not supposed to make all the mistakes to learn from them but allow yourself to learn from the mistakes of others

You are not always gonna wake up peppy and ready to fly. You will need somebody to remind you how to walk sometimes and that’s what a mentor does for you
Find a person who will stir up your mind and steer you in the right path.

It is true that Iron sharpeneth Iron

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Finding the Balance

Dear Diary,

Yes..its been hella crazy been me lately..
I am currently working on a brand new project which will be my new baby for a few years…and I am very excited about it..i will definitely fill you in as time goes on and life unfolds. All I can say right now is I have been tremendously favored and this shoes ‘m filling are HUGE!

Anyhow, so as it is, I have businesses I’m running, two part time jobs, weekend gigs, Church activities, volunteer work, friends and family to spend time with and sometimes I get so busy I don’t even find the time to breathe!
Random Picture i took at the G20 conference

Mind you, I’m not complaining at all, I actually love been busy as I think it keeps me focused. This past week was a typical week in the life of Ehi as my life was on the GO and as I reflect on recent happenings, I find that when I get busy, I have no time for BS and zero tolerance for gibberish or tittle-tattle and I am productive and so I love that.

However, yesterday somebody made a comment that the only reason they wouldn’t considering getting involved with me is the fact that I am such a career oriented person and they don’t think I will cope with holding down a family and meeting the expectations of a demanding career.

As usual, I spoke to my very knowledgeable and grounded girl friends about this situation and they begged to differ. I like what one of them , Aike had to say about it. “There is a way and you will find it when the time comes”

I am not being ignorant of the challenges involved in being the world’s greatest mom, full time wife and still have a successful career .However, I asked myself, Ehi, are there women doing it and kicking ass? HELL YEAH! So I know we will succeed and no aspect of our lives will derail…when the time comes.


I learned staying busy restricts your time to quality conversations and quality people

I am learning Being a “Superwoman” does not mean you sacrifice your family or spending quality time with people you love and care about, it means that when challenges come (which they will) you stand strong , find a balance and trust God to make a way

Who are you? What do you do and Why should i care?

Dear Diary,

Yes..i know I have been away for quite sometime..i take full responsibility for my absence although I have not a laptop anymore so hence ‘m not as regular.
Anywayz, I’m excited to share some of my life with you again, my abstract, lifeless lover.

Uhmm..what have I learned lately? LOTS!

Okay chronologically, lets backtrack..uhmm…I have been out and about..literally outdoors at least 12hours everyday!

So I have been hosting and organizing lots of events, shows and parties and its just been a sweet pleasure all the way.

I have been speaking publicly and loving it since.. too!!
When I tell people this, they go huh? I could never love doing presentations or public speaking..

Did you know that the fear of Public Speaking was rated people’s #1 worst night mare and death #2?
That means that the average person would rather die than be caught speaking before an audience.

I found this intriguing and somewhat psychological because the only difference between a dialogue to your friends, family and even colleagues and an audience is the fact that an audience is a collection of all your friends, family and colleagues gathered together at the same place and time!

I have hosted events with very aloof crowd as well as events with very enthusiastic crowd and everything in between those extremes and my only purpose when I am on stage Is to give you value for your time.

So I spent last two weekends and last weekend hosting a fashion show and a baby shower respectively and I just love what I do for a hobby. Keep in mind that I did not always look forward to speaking to large numbers of people but as I grew in age, maturity and experience, I learned that while the job of a host might be intimidating, if you have something to say, and value to add, people will love you and listen to you.

I give you an example, so I attended a wedding last Saturday and the host made a grammatical blunder which was pretty obvious and for a few seconds, I cringed then I raised my head to see the crowd’s reaction and most folks had their heads bowed. Why do you think people squirm when such happens? In my opinion, most people are embarrassed on your behalf and wished you didn’t blow it!


So In my duties as a host to my friends and my “collection of friends”, I learned that to be successful in Public Speaking, you have to come to the realization that every one is your friend and they are rooting for you

Before I ever open my mouth to say anything as a private or public speaker, I have to ask myself these questions. Am I adding value to the next person? Can they relate to me? Have I left them on a different plain or are we on equal grounds?

When people agree to lend me their time to listen to me, they are only asking three questions. Who are you? What do you do and Why should i care?

Yours Sincerly
Ehi Bourgeoisie

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Oh Canada!

Dear Diary,

Its Canada day today!

We are 143 today!!

We as Canadians have come a lonng way so this gives me a glimmer of hope for my home country.

Anywayz, just wanted to tell you some random facts about Canada that you may or may not know

Canadians are considered to be peace loving compared to their American counterparts

Canadians are NOT as patriotic as you may think, we may not know who the Prime Minister is or even the names of our Provinces

Canadians do sound pitchy and we sound VERY different from Americans

Unlike what you have heard, we do not wish to be Americans, dont envy them and dont like to be compared with them

I should also add, we say ZED not ZEE

Yes, lest i forget we have had a lot of inventions including the world renowed addictive Black Berry

YOu probably dont know this but Toronto, Canada is probably the most deiverse/Ethnic city in the world and its in our diversity we find strength

Our symbols include the Beaver and Maple Syrup (i dont know why, dont ask me!)

We call one dollar coin-Loony, two dollar coin-Tooney

One of the only countries in the world with 5 different time zones

The 2nd largest country in the world after Russia in terms of land mass yet one of the smallest populations-There's only 33million of us-Cute eh?

Canadians are generally very kind and compassionate

We alwayz add the word "EH" to our phrases...i bet ya'll didnt know that eh?

We loveeee hockey and we think we're pretty good at it just the way Africans are supposedly good soccer players

Just cause we are bilingual doesnt mean we all speak french-dont get it twisted!

In the mean time, its important to know that we LOVE to shop even if there's a riot or

protest..NEVER strip us of our right to shop, we just might explode!

Think i'm joking?

Watch This.

LOL..i love Canada, cant imagine been anywhere else!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

What are You Doing?

Dear Diary,

It’s an easy week for me and as I ponder on the craziness of last week-G20, President Jonathan in Toronto, Super Eagles been eliminated, socio-economic affairs, and all this happenings..i think..i think of Nigeria…my heart deliberates on Africa.

These events have caused some people to strike Nigeria down, It makes me question their faith (or lack thereof) some of us have lost the last bit of hope we bet on Africa and its people…I know Nigeria, (giant of Africa, most populous black nation on earth and very much endowed) was not invited to the G20 conference and we lost a chance to win the world cup to a much inexperienced team and some people seem to be really distraught and irate about that… almost to a pessimistic and cynical point. We get it. You’re disappointed…NOW WHAT?

Some people even went to the ridiculous point of calling the super eagles “super chickens” and “morons” and saying they deserved to die!! Can you imagine? I think its ridiculous, unnecessary and uncalled for!!

Have you asked If they had the right resources (a good coach) at the appropriate time to train for the world cup…? Can you guarantee they did not put their best foot forward? you think if they had the EXACT SAME atmosphere and resources that the Argentines had, they would not win the world cup??

If you did not ask these questions before ridiculing them and your country, guess who’s the super chicken and the moron and the fool? You guessed right...YOU!!

For Pete’s sake, all I’m saying is we all have a role to play in Nigeria/Africa
moving forward as a country and as a continent...stop pointing fingers and DO SOMETHING from where you are..yes you the international student from not partner with small minds to put Nigeria are NIGERIAN! You put it down, you put yourself the business owner…stop debasing your country..Foreigners view Nigeria from your eyes..And you wonder why you’re not getting that contract? After you’ve told them there’s no hope in Nigeria…you can DO SOMETHING about the situation..You the Engineer, I’m talking about you the hair stylist..uhmm hmm even you, the Customer Service rep, Stop waiting on those in authority to save can DO SOMETHING from your living room to change the country..after all we are the government of Nigeria..There’s nobody whose name is Nigerian Government..We are the government!!

In your own little way, do your part, play your role..take on the ambassadorial task that has been assigned to you and do it DILIGENTLY in HONESTY and INTERGRITY. I am so sick of hearing people point fingers at this and that and curse the government out..yes, I know they may not be doing their best..but what stops you from playing your role? I think from the way most of us behave from even little things assigned to us, we will do far worst if we’re ever in a position of power.

Remember,He who is faithful in little will be faithful in Much, Just saying!

Ehi Bourgeoisie

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Leap Of Faith

Dear Diary,

I know...i know...its been a whole week, but please believe the only reason to not visit my journal for some therapy and relief is when I’m too busy gathering more stories and learning more lessons.

Anyhow, so I’ve had an awesome time in the period I was MIA so many life lessons..i’d share them all as the need arises.

What I specifically want to talk about now is the fact that I’m learning to embrace CHANGE. In the last two days, I’ve had three very close people in my life tell me of some big moves and long strides they are taking. One is my sister who is moving away just to “test other waters” and the two others are really close friends moving to England and France respectively. When I first heard of these moves, my first thoughts were the fact that their move was a great loss to me but after a hours of letting the thought sink, I realize that is a selfish thought to nurse. Its not about me at all..Its about them and the great success that this change brings.

CHANGE in itself is the only single way of moving up..Even Physics teaches us that Motion can only come about from an equal and opposite action on an object (law of thermodynamics). Personally, taking a huge leap and making a radical decision is not a strong point of mine and so I’d usually think it over and over till I talk ME out of it.

However, what I have learned in time past and previous experiences is that, if you stop feeling fulfilled it any area of your life, you need to make a change..Change is anything that disrupts your normal procedure of doing things which can be something as little as taking a different route to work or as impactful as making a choice of a bizarre and unassuming spouse. Either ways, change is refreshing and could bring an extremely great result or a far-fetched success.

Today, i am inspired by all around me who have made changes to move to somewhere in the middle of nowhere to further their studies or to search for greener pastures or to find a husband lol.

I have decided to make a change that will definitely impact me and i’m trusting it is for good. It was very difficult doing this but i am taking this huge leap of faith and i will keep you posted on what it is.


I urge you to get out of your normal (whatever your normal is)

Insanity is defined as when you keep doing things the exact same way and expect a different result

If you are not seeing a favourable result in any aspect of your life, maybe you need to CHANGE. Its the only constant thing in life

P.S-Please don’t make any backward or irrational move without carefully thinking it over

Question For all: What do you think about changing locations JUST to "search for a spouse"
is it practical? is it smart? would you do it?
I really need to know what you think.Pls leave your comments. Thank you

Yours sincerely,
Ehi Bourgeoisie