The Benefit Of Doubt

Dear Diary,

I am now sitting here at this Mental Health workshop and i wanted to share a few thoughts quickly.
I have been told to love all and trust none however as I grew up into my own person, I attended a few seminars and self help workshops which focused on conscious living and being aware of your feelings, so I learned differently. They we both very conflicting messages but I made a choice-One that would define my relationship with human beings-I was told that if you opened up to a person, they might hurt you but I was also taught that to live consciously which means you had to trust people even if you don’t know them. While it might expose your vulnerabilities to do so, it is an effective lifestyle to purge yourself of assumptions and past hurts and wounds.

So in my exercise in ‘conscious living’, you are asked to walk to a complete stranger, make absolutely no body contact and look between their lids eyeball to eyeball ball and say to them genuinely and sincerely ‘I TRUST YOU’ and if you're able to do that without doubts in your mind, you will have begun a liberating process as your guards are down, your walls are broken and all holds are barred.

A big chunk of living consciously teaches you to ‘Trust foolishly’. When I first did this exercise, my biggest challenge was overcoming of “I don’t-know-them-why-should-i-trust-them”? but then I overcame that challenge by thinking of it from the dimension of “i-don’t-know-them-why-shouldn’t-i-trust-them”? right? They haven’t hurt me..so why not eh?

So I sit here in my mental health training and this lady is staring me down head to toe almost as if I have two heads..she occasionally turns away to listen to the material being presented and focuses back on me. At this point I’m actually getting furious and uncomfortable like..why is she gazing so intently..then my fury turns into paranoia..maybe there's food crumb on my mouth..NO THERE WASNT!

Ok..10mins break and i rush off to the bathroom..it had to be my hair standing or something..well, opening the bathroom door guess who's trailing closely behind me? yesss..The staring lady!

Then the most amazing thing happens...she walks right to me and says "You have the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen and you are one geogeous lady!" *Gasp* *3seconds later* Wow! Thank you so much was my reply.

**Extremely Flustered**

Long story short, we got talking...she was the nicest lady and i pinched myself for harbouring those thoughts..

LESSONS LEARNED

You know already..give people the benefit of doubt..not every gazer is a hater!

Everyone deserves a chance to be trusted..dont let past hurt and pain cause you to recline

Yours In-Trust
Ehi Bourgeoisie