FLAWED but PURPOSEFUL.

Dear Diary,

Today, I woke up with the song by William Mcdonell “I give myself away so you can use me”

And I sang that song in tears and in singing that song, I must have transcended into another realm cuz I was in tune with my spirit and every fibre of my being was in agreement with me.

As I think of myself in all my weaknesses, I’m reminded of my childhood days when I played with plastacine and clay to make creative pieces and I remember vividly how I’d struggle to even out all wrinkles and fault lines to gain the title of the “Finest Creative“ in class. Often times, when I am all done molding, some crease will appear from nowhere then I’ll go back to try to work on it some more just to at least get close to a perfect picture. Funny enough, whatever I molded came out ‘faulted‘ almost like some part always needed some pressing-in or some smoothing-out however, they all were unique and beautiful in different ways.

In my meditation this morning, I brought to my memory those days of clay work and it reminds me of my current state, FLAWED but PURPOSEFUL I consider. how weak and vulnerable I am at the time I mean I have shortcomings, I have weaknesses. Lots of them, I have faults…if I have to space shift into perfection, I couldn’t get there in a long time, yes, I’m a million miles away from perfection.

But I give up all of that to my inventor, he created me and I’m sure he chose to make me a prototype so I dare not think I’m all sufficient and i can "do bad all by myself". I bet when God made a mold of me, IT had holes..I reckon my clay had some uneven surfaces which I imagine he often had to smoothen out. However, he left some holes there and it was done on purpose.

Today, let me challenge you to pick yourself from whatever position your weakness has got you in, set free from the guilt and shame of not being a certain way, you were never created to be like someone else much less, perfect.

Today, I celebrate my inadequacies and my shortcomings because its given me such a sense of dependency and reliance on God and it doesn’t matter what I become or what I don’t, I forever praise God for making me ME, with all my baggage because I am FLAWED but PURPOSEFUL.


Yours in Submission
Bourgy Babe


This note was birthed from the comfort of my cozy bed.
At: 6:30am,November 1st 2010