This is my Confession

Dear Diary,

I am so happy…soo very happy. ‘ve got the love of Jesus in my heart. I am so happy. so very happy.ve got the love of jesus in my heart.

This is the tune on my lips this morning..I havent sang that song in over 10years and for some reason, it just enters my lips..shocked? I am!

As I mouth this sunday school rhyme, I remember an incident that happened a few days ago..A colleague gave me a ride in her car and I started singing and 10seconds into my rendition, she reached for the radio and slowly turned up the volume..and I just burst into laughter!

Why would you do that? I asked..and this is what came out of her mouth “Ehi, you must really think you can sing, I always hear you attempting one song or the other around the office, please stop cuz you suck!”

That was definitely an ‘LOL’ moment for me and I began to explain to her where I was coming from.

I grew up like most other kids where your parents scolded you if you did something wrong and praised you for doing right. However my mama is extra liberal with her praise and generously reminded me who I was several times daily.

She calls me a Princess of glory,, angel and all sorts of 1derful names I guess you can say its similar to the “ORIKI” names some people go by but it wasn’t just praise, It was a real consistent message that was intentional and deliberate and that also came with her telling us(my siblings and I) not just who we were but what we could be and where we would go.

She would say things like your future is so bright, you will be sought after by heads of state to proffer a solution, you would have breakfast in Dublin, lunch in England and dinner in New York because you will be very important to your world!

Now, come to think of it, I don’t know how possible that will be considering the distance and the jet lag but I BELIEVED IT..

So amongst many other things she tells me, is that I CAN SING!! so don’t blame me Jennifer, if I don’t believe you, its too late to change mama’s opinion!

The great business about been consistently fed with confession especially as a child is that you have no RIGHTS whatsoever to think or say otherwise to yourself because you learned to trust the source, also you pick up from where your source stops.

Even when mom wasn’t always there to tell me who I was, I never forgot my identity.. I continued where mama stopped. I kept on saying “I’m a princess of glory and I’m going places” I must have said that for over 10years until I recently adopted another mantra which was inspired by my pastor Wale, “I’m going very far”

Now, when I speak to my mom, occasionally she still calls me a Princess of Glory but the great thing is she doesn’t even have to remind me of my name, I know who I am.
All I’m trying to say is speak over your life and mean it ..I remember clearly when I started saying “I am going places” repeatedly, I don’t even think I understood fully what it meant but over the years, I’ve come to believe it and now, I act like it. I behave like it. I talk like it.

LESSONS LEARNED

Self confession is the most effective way to believe and whatever you can conceive and believe, you can definitely achieve.

The human mind is so malleable, you can literally manipulate your mind into a mold and believe anything about yourself and soon enough your reality will be an expression of the mold just like you imagined.

As you have said it in my hearing, so will be done unto you-The Bible

Once you have said it, twice have I heard it-The bible

I am going very far, I am the head and not the tail. I am a Royal. I am a city set upon a hill that cannot be hidden. I am a star and I am making an impact in my world.This is what i tell myself everyday.

Remember, you are not what people call you but what you call yourself and what you answer to.

This is my Confession. Can I hear yours?

Yours Sincerely,
Bourgy Babe ©


Translation: ‘ORIKI’ refers to praise names or aliases given to people by a member of their family, who is usually an older relative or grandparent. It is an old tradition that has been practiced by the Yoruba tribe of Nigeria.

This note was birthed on:
The Toronto Transit Commission (TTC)
At: 7:40am, Thursday Oct 21st, 2010

Expression to your Inspiration

Dear Diary,

I have moved from been a cathartic writer to an inspirational writer within the space of 7months.

I am extremely grateful for the opportunity to pen my thoughts. I realise it’s a privilege and I do not take it for granted.

The wonderful news about a 4hr commute within the fine city of Toronto is the moments I share with myself…my thoughts are more profound ..my fountain of inspiration is spread across an assortment and wide array of elements. what I used to call chaos on the TTC is now to me a beautiful mosaic of different people with various agendas-Thank God for creativity.

So, its exactly 7:58am and I’m on the bloor-danforth subway line enroute to work and I pick up my “Open Heavens” to do my devotion (I’ve managed to channel my commute into my reading, devotion, writing, praying, observation, times) and I see "giving expression to inspiration.."

Afterwards, I proceeded to pick up yesterday’s Toronto Metro Newspaper and I read the success story of Canadian business, GOT JUNK” its an interesting story.
The brain child behind that business that is worth well over 100million dollars now, first got his inspiration and idea of been a ‘rubbish man’ at a McDonalds drive thru!!

A lot of times what happens with me and most others is we keep asking and praying for a break through and God doesn’t sell ‘breakthroughs’ rather he gives us the means to BREAK THROUGH through the most raw and basic ideas such that we can utilize the creativity and brains that he by the way has given us, to give form and birth these ideas.
Some of us (myself included) must realize that heaven doesn’t use currency…they have no money up there!none whatsoever to give us.
If the CEO of GOT JUNK had not acted fast on the idea that came to him when that junk car passed by him at the McDonalds drive thru, can you imagine what he’d have lost out on?

A moment of brilliance can come to you at any time, its best to pen down your thoughts and not dismiss it as ridiculous..that “Ridiculous” idea just might be your meal ticket and its unjust and unfair to yourself to not give it expression.

Once again, I’m thankful for my portable laptop, its probably the best gift I’ve gotten this year and was given to me by a special person. Because of this laptop I’m able to write as many thoughts and ideas as they flow to my mind and take it every where I go. You too can journal your thoughts on a note book or a diary or an electronic device like I do.

Either ways, remember to give Expression to your Inspiration as they come!


Yours Creatively,
Bourgy Babe


This note was birthed:
On: TTC-Bloor-Danforth Line, Toronto, Canada
At: 8:33am, EST. Oct 19th, 2010

Resist the Party

Dear Diary,

You know what has alwayz intrigued me? People who walk around wearing smiles and filled with laughter when there’s a storm happening right in their hearts.

Endurance and fortitude are traits I’ve come to develop over time and some times when I have a lonnnnnng period of drought and trying times and it just seems like the tunnel never ends and its hard to imagine anyone else has it tougher than you.

Infact one can even get caught up In this mess so much that we have debates with friends on who has it tougher, almost like we’re competing for last place..little by little..sentence by sentence…every gossip..every phone call..every convo. brings us closer to our doom and with every word, and every consolation like “eya pele o”, “poor you, how are you coping” we ‘re drawn closer to our waterloo.

This party goes on and on…you continue to invite more guest..and seek more attention and before you know it, you are the host of the PITY PARTY and you do not realize it!!

Notice how it starts with words and just merely saying it and shortly after, negative emotions automatically invite themselves to those words unconsciously. because when we say, “Damn, I am screwed” the next time we are saying “why am I the only one that has so many problems” the next line slowly turns into something like this: “I am a failure, I am nobody” for the simple reason that its hard to keep a smiley face and maintain a good attitude when you say “I’m in trouble”. Even if you do not mean to get depressed those words automatically bring along their matching emotions.

There, you have it, you’re now the MC of your own Pity Party dictating the schedule and introducing the next item on the agenda because you know for a fact that the next email you receive is a rejection letter and you already have familiarized yourself with the tone and pitch of failure it knows you by your nick name!


Anyhow these were some of the thoughts I battled with last week as I was tempted to make a pity party for myself … until I met some one whose problems made mine look like cotton candy on a nice summer day!

It’s like the little boy who was crying he had no shoes till he met another fellow who had no feet!


then I said to myself ehi, retrace your steps, it aint even that serious.

Lessons Learned

Regardless of what you’re facing, remember it could be worse and there’s people going through more difficult situations and maintaining a great attitude.

At every phase of one’s life, there’s always a lesson to be learnt, this particular thought has always kept me going in trying times because I tell myself, its just a phase and it will pass. you always have to remember, nothing ever last forever, the tide will turn but it will be very tragic if the phase just passes by without getting any lessons out of it.

Its like going through training or attending lectures and taking tests without any real certificate. Imagine going to Medical school for years and on your last day, you’re told you cant practice as a doctor or allowed to implement any training you received, frustrating eh?

Every Phase of Life brings with it a life lesson, its tuition free but you cant learn it in any formal institution, maximize the opportunity and Resist the Party.

Have a blessed week,
Bourgy Babe





Translation:
“Eya, Pele o” literally means: “Aww…sorry” in the Yoruba language of Nigeria

Get a Jar your size.

Dear Diary,

Thank God..I’m in a state of glee right now..I am extremely happy today. I had a much better day than yesterday and I ‘m just excited about that.

Today, I got much done at work and it was generally a productive day for me..

So whilst standing at a reception of an office, I noticed a transparent COIN jar asking for donations to a Social Service agency with stickers that read Pennys, $20cents, 25Cents, 5cents and it was filled to the brim with Pennys.

Last week, I stopped by an African restaurant and while waiting on my food to be packed in the take-away plates, I caught sight of the TIP jar and I held it and attempted giving a tip but the almost empty jar wouldn’t take my money as it neither had room nor an outlet for paper currency.

The same week, I walked down the tunnel at Yorkdale Mall and I noticed a gentleman playing the steel pan and entertaining passers by and I looked intently in his make believe money box which was a guitar case and lo and behold I saw a variety of bills all varying amounts and of course some coins here and there

Honestly, I was startled and upon reflection I began to draw a connection between these three scenarios..
They all had something in common-they all needed support from completely random people.
However, they all had various mindsets and expectations.

Life truly does hand you what you ask for and what you have room to contain. Notice in the first case scenario, the implication of the coin jar with stickers of penny’s automatically pre empted just that, PENNY’s!

With regards to the African restaurant, I began to think that even I really wanted to show bountiful kindness in tips, I was held back. I just wasn’t allowed to give past a coin as the narrow tip box only had a coin slot and would not accommodate my generous tip.

However, my Yorkdale entertainer came with a bigger container, a bigger expectation and got bigger results, although I’m not sure if he understood this concept prior to coming up with a guitar case or it just happened to be. My point is, the ocean of wealth and opportunities is HUGE! and there’s enough for every one. If you bring a cup, it will get filled likewise, if you bring a bucket it will also get filled.

Don’t limit yourself with a small jar as what you get depends very much on the size of your container.

So what are you waiting on? Get a jar your worth and I really hope you know your worth.



Much Love,
Bourgy Babe

Today

Dear Diary,

My heart is heavy…its soo heavy I literally have to source for something to make me happy..so I made up a gratitude list to remind me of things that are working so I don’t get consumed with whats NOT.

I’m usually able to bounce back quicky when I experience this feeling..but this time its harder than usual..i hardly journal twice a day except for days like today when my writing is more cathartic than anything else..its taking a lot to provoke a happy hormone..I’m not sure if it has anything to do with the wet n cold weather or if its just primarily the much not going my way..I’m still trying..I continue to make effort to knock it off

It’s consolin to hear good news reeling all around me though..marriage proposals, job offers, house purchases happening to my friends..

Those made me smile and I know mine is on its way and I’m willing to wait for it.

Today It rained and I got drenched and I hated it BUT I got a ride a mini distance and I got home safely

Today, some one close to me really disappointed me and made me sad BUT some one showed me so much kindness and went out of his way for me

Today, I missed an appointment to run an errand BUT today I delivered some service and got compensated for it

Today, I sat in front of my computer and did little BUT today I made it to work safely in my 4inch stilettos, helped two clients and learnt about hair


Today, I wished today never came BUT today makes me appreciate better days like Tomorrow.



Good Night,
Bourgy Babe.

TWO PERCENT!

Dear Diary,

Its wet..its rainy..its cold..REALLY COLLLD..

No, its not my first fall or winter but I cant seem to get used to the cold..every year feels like my first..

So I sit here and await a client and before she gets here, I just have a minute to share with you what burden has been on my heart lately.

Is it too much to Ask that a Man whom you’re in a relationship with doesn’t cheat?

Recently, I did a study/research where I was lucky to pin some down some young men from African descent to have a talk with them on the subject of cheating…The results ladies, is astounding!…sadly astounding, that is.

Since I promised I was not going to mention any real names or start my gossip magazine, they were honest enough to open up to me.

The bottom line of the research was, I wish I never ventured..it broke my heart and confirmed my fears.

So, started I started with a 26 yr old man from Nigeria and asked him. “Tunde, do you think all men cheat?”

Tunde:

"Duh! Of course all men cheat, how you tink say we go survive”? we’re competitive by nature so to keep things exciting, we have to keep chasing and stay in the game".

Really?? This Is about a competition?

I ask Lenny from South Africa the same question and he was generous to give me some numbers.

Lenny:

"yea..i’d say 98% of us cheat and any man that tells you he doesn’t is a liar except he’s a pastor..and even that you never know (laughs) but we don’t do it to hurt our wives/girlfriends, we love our spouses nonetheless..and I’ll make it known to my mistress that there’s a MADAM and she comes first"

Wow!! *Heart Broken*

I wonder why men cheat..let me ask Tatenda, my friend from Zimbabwe.

Tatenda:

"you wanna know? I don’t know why we cheat, there’s no WHY..I guess it’s the curse of man"!

And this is not a satisfactory answer for my pretty head, lets see what Hugue sayS

Hugue:"Madam women’s right activist, can you eat the same food all your life"?


Are you serious?? &*^%@!!! This is BS!!

I’M DONE!

Like that was not even bad enough, I asked some ladies about the situation of men cheating and one of them had this to say

Steph:

"Yup,I know all men cheat and I make it clear to my husband to do it very far from me so I do not hear about it..i give him the permission to do it with white girls so I never find out”

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

Ladies o!!

One of them even jokes saying: "if Halle Berry can be cheated on, who are my"?

So just like every problem in life, when it arises, you seek a solution so I ask, what can a woman do about it? How can a cheating spouse be prevented and the response I got from both cheating males and females was NOTHIN!


“Personal care and maintenance may have been a driving force for me to look outside but that’s not the issue”

“Yea, you cant cook or clean or make me feel like a man, but that aside, I will still get my groove on..just not with you”

Now, you see why I’m bothered…it’s a crazy world out there.

More interesting than men who cheat, are the ladies who know they are Mistresses or ‘Plan B’ (as I like to call them) and still go ahead and frolick with another woman’s property..

I don’t like to play second fiddle and I cant settle to be #2 or the ‘Other woman’ that’s why I am determined to speak to the offenders of this Unpardonable crime and know what the hell they’re thinking.

*Stay Tuned*

Note that the result of this research is not conclusive.

To the 2% who respect the institution of marriage and understand the word ‘COMMITMENT’, congratulations!

Another dimension of this craze is women who have been involved with a married man or one who’s was in a relationship and were not aware!

I'm in talks with some of the victims of non-intensional home wreckage.

STAY TUNED FOR SUBSEQUENT POSTS.

Are you one of the 2%?



Xoxo,
Bourgy Babe